All things considered, I think I’m holding it together remarkably well.
I have a lot on my plate this week. I actually feel funny complaining because everyone has a lot on their plate this week. And every week. I was at yet another kid’s birthday party the other day (although this one was quite pleasant due to the fact that it was at my friends’ house and not Chuck E. Cheese), and I realized that every person I talked to felt completely spent. Like they’d been driving for days, their tank was dry, and they had no idea how far it was to the next rest stop. Didn’t matter if they were working from home, working outside the home, going to school, or doing a potpourri of the whole shebang. They were over it. And they just wanted summer vacation to start (that fantasy summer vacation where you sit in the sun on purpose and put baby oil on yourself and listen to Rick Springfield on your boom box).
I think for me, part of the problem is that I still don’t feel like a real grownup. And, thusly, it makes absolutely no sense that all of these responsibilities and stressors should be coming my way. Sure, when I look around and see my exhausted husband, happy/cranky kids, aging dog, dirty house, humongous mortgage, and weed-filled yard, it seems pretty obvious that I’m a bona fide grownup. But take me away from all that for a nanosecond, and my brain switches to, “What? You can’t arrest me for that — I’m not over 18!” (And, incidentally, it isn’t helping that I have more acne now than I did when I was a teenager).
So I sit here, surrounded by papers that need signatures, to-do lists that keep growing, and emails that come relentlessly. I sit here, figuring out how to celebrate my husband’s birthday on Friday, deciding how to mark the anniversary of my mother’s passing on Saturday, and making plans for the Fourth of July on Sunday. I sit here, dreading the fact that I need to clean the entire house because my in-laws are coming over, realizing what was supposed to be a family birthday dinner for my daughter is in fact a birthday dinner for my husband, and trying to rethink what I need for dinner. I sit here, remembering appointments I forgot to make, planning my daughter’s ridiculously large birthday party that’s a week away, and gearing up for a herd of family members that are arriving sometime thereafter. I sit here, trying to keep the minutia of my life from overwhelming my head.
And I think, for an 18-year-old, I’m holding it together remarkably well.
Tammy Soong is a writer, wife, and mom from Reno, Nevada. She takes an absurd amount of pain medication, but not enough to have actually named her children "Newt" and "Elfie." She spends most days stressing out over clutter, writing stuff for this place, and working on podcasts with her gal pals, the Blogging Betties.
I am right there with you. Seriously, that “whole shebang” you described is the reason I gave up on only drinking wine on weekends. Speaking of which, it's after 5, and I'm, ahem, over 21. Time to pour.
I'm with you – I feel like a real grown-up should be taking care of things! But, a word, just say no and you will feel less busy. We really don't need to go to all the social engagements we're asked to…
You are indeed doing fantastic for an 18-year old. I wish you the vacation time you dream of…sitting in the sun with baby oil and all… All the best to you.
I often wonder when our children's 'real parents' are going to turn up. Don't you need to know stuff to be a parent? And run a household?
It doesn't help that people who know me well giggle (a lot) when I talk to them about parenting. “You! A Mum?” snigger, snigger.
Just goes to show that a bit more attention to the elderly is important – they probably still feel 18 and are wondering why no-one wants to chat to them anymore.
@She Said: Sounds like you and Greg are throwing in the “whole shebang” — you guys rock! Love your blog, btw. And how Emily got sick after a day of preschool but not 3 months on a Chinese subway floor.
@Maxabella: I'm starting to think that you must go to all social events, work, blog, take care of your kids, and not sleep. How do you do that? Ritalin? Crack? That deep meditation that makes it so you only need to sleep for a couple of hours?
@alwayswell: Always supportive. But am I doing okay for a 41-year-old?:)
@Multiple Mum: I think that about elderly people all the time! In fact, aging has completely changed my approach to them. I'm sure they look in the mirror and think, “Who the hell is that?” just the way I do.
I'm there, too. Always too much scheduled…and I've already DROPPED everything non-essential. Dealing with my mother's health issues has felt like one long string of emergencies over the last 6 months: OMG! Kidney transplant! OMG! Lung cancer! OMG! Pneumonia hospitalization!
I was fantasizing about summer vacation, but basically it's been spent running my mom to the doctor on a thrice-weekly basis, with the poor kids (9 & 6) in tow.
The house is a mess, my friends are tired of babysitting my kids for free, and I am FRIED. And there's no end in sight…
Sending happy thoughts that you'll get through this weekend unscathed!
@sandwiched: Ugh. I'm so sorry. You need a serious vacation. I may be wrong, but you may be underestimating your friends — I always hesitate to ask for help and then find out that people really, really wanted me to. It's like they can't make your mom better or your day have more hours in it, but they can watch your kids. Anyway, I'll bet you have good friends.