Baby Still on Board

– Posted in: Forgetting, School, Worst Mom Moments

It’s Throwback Thursday, where we get a chance to read one of the great “bad mother” stories of old that y’all might have missed because it was written lo, these many moons ago (like, a year). And trust me, you do not want to miss this one. It was originally sent in by a good friend who wishes to remain anonymous.

Photo by Geri-Jean Blanchard

Here’s my “World’s Worst Moms” story that could have ended in disaster. It took place during a heat wave in August. About two months after our third child was born, my older children’s elementary school had “Back to School Night.” In our town, this is an event that your children do not want you to miss. They want you to have the opportunity to meet their new teacher and see the cool artwork they’ve painted on display. Not to mention that some teachers issue extra credit for those parents who show up (no pressure!). Oddly enough, children are strongly discouraged from attending this event. So, as all the parents have to do, we scramble to find a sitter. My husband and I decided to do a “kid exchange” with friends who were in the same predicament. We would drop off our kids at our friends house for one hour while we attended Back to School Night and, in return, watch their kids while they attended this grand event. Of course I felt justified towing my infant along with me to this event, after all, I was nursing.

As every parent can relate, life is chaos with an infant and complete chaos with an infant and young children. While my husband scrambled to get our kids a mac and cheese dinner before we took the kids to my friends, I nursed my baby so that he would hopefully be satisfied and sleep during Back to School. We were running out the door, late as usual. We drove by our friends house and our children hopped out of our van as we waved goodbye from our car window. As we got to the school parking lot late, there was not a parking spot in site. We drove around in the adjacent neighborhood searching for a spot. Finally we parked and ran down to the school dripping sweat in the 100 degree + weather. As we stopped by the “greeting table” to grab a water and cookies that had been set out for the parents, some friends approach us and made a comment about how nice it must be for us to not have any kids in tow — especially our infant. In that instant, my husband and I looked at one another and screamed “OUR INFANT!” With all the juggling that evening we had strapped him into his car seat in the back of the van and forgot that he was even there. We were now playing “zone” whereas we were used to the “man on man” approach for the last three years. Horrified, my husband and I ran back to the car parked in the neighborhood to thankfully find our infant awake and staring out the window. As we opened the door to the van, took our child out, we noticed that we were being glared down by a man in the neighborhood who could see what was happening. We were speechless, knowing that there very easily could have been a different outcome. We walked with shame back to the school hoping that no one would notice our “bad parent” move.

Nine years later, my husband and I can thankfully laugh at this story. I had nightmares about this incident for years after. When I hear those tragic stories of parents driving to work and forgetting that their child is in the back seat of the car, I no longer regard them as complete idiots.

10 Comments… add one

joho1970 September 2, 2011, 4:41 am

I forgot my third child once when he was an infant and left him in the van while I grocery shopped. Luckily, itwasnt hot and he apparently slept the hour it took me to shop. When I got to the van with my groceries and realized what I'd done, I started crying and was in complete uncontrollable sobs by the time I got home.

Anna September 2, 2011, 9:04 am

The worst thing I' ve ever done was that I forgot to strap the baby car seat belts on my son when I put him in. I realized the whole thing just after we arrived and I felt bad for days…what if I crashed with him unattached? OMG. But I think these mistakes make us be more alert the next time and make us better parents.
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Meenakshi September 2, 2011, 11:52 am

Some time ago, in a crowded public area, people were crowding around a car, because there was a child in the back seat who had woken up from a nap and realized that her parents had left her behind. Some of the samaritans were planning to break the window to get the child out, when the parents returned. Turns out the husband was injured and so the wife was supporting him and taking him to a doctor's clinic. They decided to leave the child as she was napping……

Kimberly September 3, 2011, 12:40 am

Oh my gosh, this is terrifying! Thank God it had a happy ending! I've never forgotten my babies in the car (yet!), but I HAVE forgotten to actually buckle my daughter's seat belt. She's 2.5 now, and she likes to climb into her car seat by herself. One day I took advantage of this skill to stick my 17-month-old in his car seat. I buckled him, walked around to my side, closed her door, and took off. It wasn't until we were on the ramp onto the freeway that I noticed she wasn't buckled. Talk about feeling guilty.
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@worldsworstmoms September 3, 2011, 1:16 am

I probably should've done what I did in the original post of this story and emphasized what a great mom my friend is. But of course, that's the point of this site — good mom mess ups. Anyway, I drove around with my son's infant seat not snapped into that plastic gadget that's hooked into the car (it's been so long that I can't even remember what to call it!). When I went to get him out, I completely freaked. Of course, I'm not exactly the safety queen since I could've let him get run over by a car in his stroller. But that's another story that will most definitely show up in Throwback Thursday.

Verity September 3, 2011, 4:42 am

Those moments of realization are so terrifying. When I was still on maternity leave with my oldest, I decided to take her to work one day, you know, show off the baby, etc. We lived in LA then and it was about a 45 minute commute, so I used our handy new tray that you could snap on over the car seat and she happily banged about on the tray with her toys. When I went to take her out of the seat – after driving on 3 highways, one being the 710 in LA (an old freeway, full of trucks coming up from the Long Beach Harbor) I realized that I had never buckled her carseat straps! Just hooked the one strap over with the tray. About 20 different horrific accident scenarios went through my head just then. Thank god nothing happened.

Rebecca Grace September 3, 2011, 3:04 pm

This is so true. Sometimes the only difference between "good parents" and the horrible, bad parents on the news is the luck of the draw — we all make mistakes; every parent has a scary story like this but most end with "thank God it turned out okay even though I screwed up royally!"
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@worldsworstmoms September 3, 2011, 4:45 pm

Well said. I just tweeted part of your comment.

ginger September 7, 2011, 1:45 pm

I remember my friend with a new baby once commented that her Mother in Law forgot her son, in his carrier, next to the car. She carried him to the car, put him down, placed a bunch of stuff in the car, forgot about him and drove off. About five minutes later she realized what she had done and thankfully he was right where she left him, just fine. I kept thinking OMG, could I ever trust my Mother in Law again. My friend was very forgiving, very wisely stating that, "having a new baby is such a change that sometimes your brain and body just go into auto pilot and you just forget you have something new to remember." Chalk it up to sleep deprivation and a great thing to remind all your friends about. We'd get in the car, and my friend would chant, "Baby, check, purse check." I never forgot that story, and while I have forgotten to strap my daughter in once, she now reminds me when I forget, I have never left one of the kids, because of her story. When I first brought my daughter home, I would copy her chant. "Baby, Check. Diaper Bag, Check. phone check."

danabayiates August 4, 2012, 6:11 am

I'm old enough to remember that my parents DIDN'T HAVE CAR SEATS. If that's the worst thing you've ever done, then you're doing just fine.

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