Before I start this, let me just say that I know I’m a big, lucky whiner. I don’t have to worry about going to the market and not coming home because someone blew me up with a car bomb. I know the water I’m drinking won’t give me cholera. Hell, I don’t even have to give my kids second-hand anything this Christmas. I know I’m lucky. Which is why you may or may not want stay tuned for the following self-center, crybaby rant from deep in the heart of suburbia. . .
Yes, I’m lucky. But I’m also really frickin’ tired. And frustrated and overwhelmed and discombobbulated. True, I’m not stressing about where our next meal is coming from or whether we’re going to get kicked out of our house in a few days (I say this because I have a friend of a friend who is experiencing this actuality as I type). But all of the shopping and event coordinating and schedule planning is getting to me. And I know how that sounds — yes, dahling, all the “not starving and being homeless” stress is really quite demanding.
But here’s the thing. Last Sunday, I spent the entire morning carving a replica of an Easter Island moai out of styrofoam for my daughter Elfie’s school project (actually, I just watched and cleaned up a bazillion pieces of styrofoam — my very nice neighbor did the carving part). Afterward, I laid down on the floor in our spare room and hid because I thought I was going to have some sort of. . . I don’t even know. It wasn’t an anxiety attack. I wasn’t about to yell at everyone. I didn’t start crying. Everything just suddenly became too big and swirly. Between two kids with two massive school projects during the busiest time of the year, coupled with everything that goes with the busiest time of the year, well I just, as they say, dropped my basket.
My mind is so baked that today I took my daughter to her ballet dance recital without ballet shoes. Or tights. Fortunately she’s 6, so it’s not like she couldn’t act like a snowflake in bare feet. As for the tights. . . well, let’s just say it’s a good thing I’m not someone who gets freaked out about people seeing her kid’s underwear (not to mention, the 80-plus-year-old, semi-catatonic nursing home residents that she was performing for didn’t seem to notice).
And. . . I killed our Christmas tree. Actually, no. The White-trash Christmas tree lot guys who sold us a tree that was cut down some time in September killed our tree. So we had to go out and get a new one tonight. Result: I’ve now decorated, undecorated, and will be redecorating a tree. Nothing like an extra chance to exercise one’s manual dexterity and light-swagging skills.
And tonight, I spent an absurd number of hours on my computer, trying to coordinate who’s giving what to whom and where to get it and how much it will cost and when it’ll get here. It turns out we have a party with Santa, and I need to get presents off the “Santa List” or else the kids will be on to me. And I have to make sure I have “Santa only” wrapping paper or else the kids will be on to me. And my husband just informed me that Newt, our 8-year-old, found one of my really bad present-hiding places, so he probably already is on to me.
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| www.ICaughtSanta.com |
Which should come as no surprise. The other day, I had an in-depth argument with one of Newt’s friends about the technical limitations of photographic equipment that would ruin his plan to obtain a picture of Santa (due to Santa’s ability to move at the speed of light — which one has to assume, given the number of homes he visits in the window of time he has). My friends and I are working overtime this year to keep the dream alive. Which is why I’m passing this on: www.ICaughtSanta.com. They basically let you stick a picture of Santa over a picture of your living room. When I first saw it, my initial reaction was, “Seriously? You guys couldn’t give us a better pose than this?” because Santa looks like a bad out-of-work actor who can’t do “surprised.” But it turns out there are multiple options. So if you’re into hardcore manipulation. . .
Anyway, I personally will be going with the “He got away again!” tactic. Especially since the kids are already better than I am at all this tech stuff and seem to be able to spot bad CGI a mile away. Now if I could only get them to set me up a nice excel spreadsheet to keep track of all their frickin’ presents.
Tammy Soong is a writer, wife, and mom from Reno, Nevada. She takes an absurd amount of pain medication, but not enough to have actually named her children "Newt" and "Elfie." She spends most days stressing out over clutter, writing stuff for this place, and working on podcasts with her gal pals, the Blogging Betties.
Don't take this the wrong way, but THANK GOD! I really thought I was the only person on the planet feeling less than Christmas-y. Thanks for sharing!
You know… I would have absolutely NO PROBLEM cancelling Christmas this year. None. This is how stressful and out of the Christmas spirit I am. My family is coming to Christmas Eve dinner. At my house. Here my children will be expected to act out the Nativity while my Pappy reads it aloud. It is uncomfortably religious for me, the kids hate doing it, and my mother is already getting the costumes together.
@Briosogirl: Oh, you're not the only one. I think there's an epidemic.
@frazzledmomma: I'm having a hard time containing myself, picturing you guys acting out the Nativity. Not that I actually know what you look like, but it's still highly amusing for some reason (can't imagine why).:)
As one of my co-workers said I could use another week before Christmas. Seeing as how that ain't gonna happen, I'm just rolling with the punches.
I reread THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER … and that REALLY helped. I'm just always so grateful to take down the tree and begin January.
Happy New Year!
@VM: Oh, I rolled. You have no idea.
@Heidi: Hey, good to hear from you! I loved that book as a kid.
And to the rest of you. . . could someone have maybe mentioned that I was so frickin' tired that I titled this thing “At We There Yet?” And I just noticed it TODAY? That is so embarrassing.
Oh, dear, I hope you are feeling better. We've all been there. I have been known to lay on the bathroom floor, or just sit on the toilet. But, sometimes, laying on the floor is necessary. I have experienced a great sigh of relief now that all the holiday stuff is done for me. Hope you have found that too. Hang in there.
No dead tree for us this year… we had our own white-trashy fakie. Sucker still dropped “needles” on the carpet, though. Love the “Santa only” paper… I do that too. When my oldest was about Newt's age, he left a note for Santa with the cookies requesting Santa's signature to prove he'd been there. I went online and found a copy of Santa's “signature” and wrote a letter, closing with a forgery of this online signature. Go, me.
I'm really enjoying your blog… it's a good read!
Wishing you and your family a magical 2011!
When we became Baha'is 8 years ago, we decided to give up Christmas (or at least the gift-giving part of it, we still celebrate by sharing meals and stuff with our families). It was a hard decision for me at first. Because I really enjoy giving presents, having a tree, decorating, etc. and all the other stuff that comes with Christmastime.
But after I got through the first couple of (pretty) awkward years of telling people that we weren't going to be exchanging presents and all that jazz anymore, I realized that Christmas had been stressful for me.
Now, I really look forward to each Christmas. I enjoy the music, the decorations in other people's homes, the lights, the cookies, parties, etc. But I don't have to stress about buying 800 presents for every person in my family that will just end up in the regifting bin anyway. Now we do service projects instead, which can be really wonderful and will be even better when the kids get older and can understand and do more.
I think that Christmas can be stressful and you shouldn't feel bad about getting overwhelmed. There are so many things to do at a time of year when you also just want to be able to kick back and enjoy the time with your family.
Don't be hard on yourself! Do what you can and enjoy your beautiful family. If I learned one thing from my whole ditching Christmas expereience (which I'm not trying to advocate by any means, btw!) it was that I was the one in control of what I decide to do over the holidays and nobody else. And that was really refreshing.
@Kristy: I hung in there. Thanks for the support.
@XLMIC: I never thought we'd go fake, but after we threw out the 2nd tree that was so dry it was giving me allergies, I'm reconsidering.
@Organic: I don't know — the Baha'i thing is sounding pretty good. It's funny that you mentioned service projects because that's exactly what I wanted to do this year but didn't (because I got overwhelmed). The kids do this weird freak out thing around the holidays where they become very “entitled” all of a sudden, so I was hoping to remedy that I little. Well, I'm sure I'll be completely on top of it next year.:)