Be Like Water. . . And Just Grow Up Already

– Posted in: Getting Older, Growing Up, Grown-up Friends, Personal Insanity, Sappy Tammy, Time

Lately I’ve been thinking about how much I’ve changed over the last twenty years. For whatever reason, little reminders keep popping up to challenge my illusion that I’m still basically the same person. I don’t think anyone likes to look back to their 20’s and remember that very strong feeling of believing they’d never turn into that boring person. Or uptight parent. Or working cog.

I guess growing up — growing older — is sort of like water flowing over rocks. You don’t realize what’s happening and what changes are occurring. But if you bother to look closely, it turns out the stream is moving in a completely different direction.

This week, while watching 9/11 coverage, I saw Lyz Glick. In 2001, Lyz was a young, sweatshirt wearing, sort of crunchy, new mother of a 5-month-old baby girl. Her husband, Jeremy, was one of the people who foiled the hijackers’ plans on United Airlines Flight 93. When I saw Lyz “today,” it was stunning. She’s. . . grown up. She’s one of the people I see at soccer practice or in the pick-up line at school. She wears gold earrings and colors her hair.

And then I remembered — I sit through soccer practice. And pick up kids every day from school. And color my hair (although I’m still not a gold-earring person).

2011

The funny thing is, as much as I may think the inside of me doesn’t match the outside, it absolutely does. But just like the water and the rock, I don’t notice it until I look. A few weeks ago, we were up at my dad’s cabin with my 20-year-old cousin and his two friends. They drove up completely unprepared at the last minute. They slept on the deck in make-shift bedding. They sat for hours and hours, just hanging out together. And I actually had to stop myself when I thought, “What could they possibly be talking about for such a long time?”

1993

It’s been so long since I just hung out with friends for hours. With no agenda or time limit. It made me remember a road trip I took with three friends (one whom I ended up marrying) when I was 24. We camped. And drank. And talked and talked and talked. About what, I can’t remember. It doesn’t matter.

I understand that the rocks have to change and the stream will inevitably go in different directions. If we all didn’t grow up, we’d become the pathetic guy who gets married and divorced eight times and is stuck in a perpetual midlife crisis. But I do wish my 24-year-old self would’ve realized that the days of endless gab sessions would end. And when friends moved away, you should cry — because you wouldn’t really end up being able to keep in touch. And when you grew up, you inevitably would just. . . change.

And to love the water you’re in. Because there’s absolutely no way to ever swim back up stream.

7 Comments… add one

Sweaty September 14, 2011, 9:56 am

*sigh*

What you said here, every single word, really resonated with how I felt, especially at times when I really took a pause and looked back. It's funny how you see yourself in front of the mirror everyday, and you could even spot that new wrinkle or one more white hair, and yet not realized that we've grown older. We've aged.

I always told my friends, that really, inside I didn't feel any different than when I was still in high school. And yet, as you said here in your post, we ARE different. Those changes went undetected until you come across your younger nephews or nieces, or perhaps spent time in the park in front of NYU campus watching the students live their lives. And then it just hit you, that you ARE different than the old you.

Ah my friend, at some point of time I've got to admit that I'm 'old.' I'd like to believe that I still got a good many FUN years ahead of me, but the truth still stands: I am older now.

Okay, now please pass that bottle of wine and give me a straw so that I can sip it up and drown in my sorrow. lol

Padded Cell Princess September 14, 2011, 4:08 pm

Ok, I am in my 20's still but I love your description of the river flowing on. It made me think about how water, after time, would smooth out all the rough stones. Unfortunately time doesn't do this with wrinkles but even at my still young age, I can already see some of the rough edges I had before, smoothing out and making the water flow a bit calmer.
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andrea September 14, 2011, 8:13 pm

hmmmm…maybe you've hit o the crux of the matter for me…I need to stop trying so hard to fight the current and remember that the way to survive the rip tide is to relax and let it carry you. Beautiful post.
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PartlySunny September 14, 2011, 8:26 pm

I really hope that our definition of fun has just changed. But that we still can have it up until our last breath. Or sip.:)

PartlySunny September 14, 2011, 8:29 pm

My Padded Cell Princess is so wise and only in her 20's! I forgot that.

And I don't know if my rough edges have come off. It would be nice to think so.

PartlySunny September 14, 2011, 8:31 pm

Thanks Andrea! I love that I write this stuff and then go back to fighting the current anyway.

Verity September 15, 2011, 3:29 am

This is why we need to plan a camping trip or a weekend getaway at least once each summer…the unscheduled time to hang and talk…so rare now. I miss it!

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