The Tree Doesn’t Fall Far from the Apple

– Posted in: Bullying, Conservatives are Funny, Elfie, Family, Growing Up, Kid Friends, Mean People, Mouths of Babes, Newt, Parenting, Women's Issues
Why my kids are better people than I am

So I'm happy to report that the kids not only survived camp but had a fabulous time. Apparently the first night was a little touch-and-go: Newt wanted to come home very badly, and Elfie got stung by a bee. But they sucked it up, and the memorable stories have been trickling out of them since [...]

I’m Buzzing at DeBie Hive

– Posted in: Guest Blog, Parenting, Writing
DeBie Hive -- Writer's Workshop Wednesday

I don't guest post often -- mainly because I have a hard enough time keeping up with this place and, really, let's face it, who the hell wants me. But one of my bloggy besties -- Kelly of DeBie Hive -- was asking for volunteers for her Writer's Workshop Wednesday series, and I said, "Sure, [...]

The Bachelorette — Helping Me Teach My Daughter the REAL Facts of Life

– Posted in: Elfie, Growing Up, Mawage, Media, Mouths of Babes, Parenting, Personal Insanity, TV, Unsolicited Advice, Worst Mom Randomness
The Facts of Life from the Bachelorette

"What are you watching?" My 9-year-old daughter has just caught me watching The Bachelorette. Normally this is an activity I'd reserve for after the kids have gone to bed, but it's summer, and "after they've gone to bed" is practically when I go to bed. "It's called The Bachelorette. It's a horrible, horrible show where [...]

Why I Leaned Out and Skipped BlogHer

– Posted in: Blogging, Bright Side of Life, Elfie, Family, Growing Up, Me Time, Parenting, Personal Insanity, Sappy Tammy, Women's Issues, Writing
Why I'm Happy Leaning Out

I've never been to BlogHer. I didn't go this year for numerous reasons. For one, I've lived through two Illinois summers and suffered through multiple visits that always seemed to coincide with a heatwave, and lately I'm against torturing myself if I can help it. For two (I know that's wrong, but does anyone know [...]

Ten Things a Kid Should Never Say at the End of July

– Posted in: Mouths of Babes, Okay That's Funny, Parenting, The Kids are Killing Me, Vacation, Worst Mom Randomness
10 things a kid should never say at the end of July

1. I'm getting kinda sick of macaroni and cheese. 2. You know, you were right. We should've signed up for camp. 3. None of my swimsuits fit. 4. Why's Dad googling "deep woods backpacking"? 5. None of my sandals fit. 6. I can see all the veins in your legs... 7. I think I was suppose [...]

If They Could Just Stay Little — How to Make a Memory

– Posted in: Elfie, Getting Older, Growing Up, Mouths of Babes, Parenting, Personal Insanity, Sappy Tammy, Worst Mom Moments
Little girl on beach. Caption: You'll always be my little

"I'm having that feeling again." My 9-year-old daughter has her arms wrapped around my waist. One cheek is pressed against my stomach. I've just spent the last hour reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire to her and her brother, and now I'm trying to extricate myself from the area. She's gotten out of bed [...]

So Now You Need a Kit to Build a Fort?

– Posted in: Okay That's Funny, Parenting, This Is Supposed to be Fun, Uncategorized, Videos, Worst Mom Rants
kids building fort in the forest out of wood and branches

Let me say right off the bat that I'm being a big fat hypocrite in this post. After the Harry Potter extravaganza party, bagging on other people's obsessive craftiness is sort of laughable. But this instructional video on "how to build a fort kit" is just kind of killing me.   Part of me didn't [...]

Gandhi-Mom Doesn’t Live Here Every Day

– Posted in: Bright Side of Life, Food, Growing Up, Newt, Parenting, Personal Insanity, Things To Do with Kids, Worst Mom Randomness
boy makes macaroni and cheese

Some days, I'm a good mom. I'm excellent, actually. Even though I feel like I'm walking through mud and the last thing I want to do is have a "teachable moment" with the children, I somehow rally and become this Gandhi-esque creature who I barely recognize. It's freaky, really. Like standing outside yourself and expecting [...]

Worst Mom Moment: How to Ruin Your Kid’s Life

– Posted in: Cleaning, Complaining, Growing Up, Guest Blog, Mouths of Babes, Parenting, Punishments, The Kids are Killing Me, Worst Mom Moments
Worst Mom Ever Trophy logo

So I've been saving this for a rainy day, and boy oh boy is it a good one. I'm stuck in our tent trailer, in Oregon, in the pouring rain. Do not even get me started... Anyway, the great and powerful Kelly DeBie of DeBie Hive sent this, oh, in winter. But you guys know [...]