Family Halloween Costumes — the Easy, the Funny, and the Scary as Hell

– Posted in: Family, Holidays, Things To Do with Kids, Worst Mom Randomness
Banana flasher costume

Once again, Halloween is upon us. And yeah, I know it's only September, but you have to plan for this stuff or else you'll be the idiot who pays overnight shipping for a T-rex costume -- not that I'd know anything about that. Anyway, we're not really the "everybody in the family dress up" people, [...]

The Bachelorette — Helping Me Teach My Daughter the REAL Facts of Life

– Posted in: Elfie, Growing Up, Mawage, Media, Mouths of Babes, Parenting, Personal Insanity, TV, Unsolicited Advice, Worst Mom Randomness
The Facts of Life from the Bachelorette

"What are you watching?" My 9-year-old daughter has just caught me watching The Bachelorette. Normally this is an activity I'd reserve for after the kids have gone to bed, but it's summer, and "after they've gone to bed" is practically when I go to bed. "It's called The Bachelorette. It's a horrible, horrible show where [...]

Ten Things a Kid Should Never Say at the End of July

– Posted in: Mouths of Babes, Okay That's Funny, Parenting, The Kids are Killing Me, Vacation, Worst Mom Randomness
10 things a kid should never say at the end of July

1. I'm getting kinda sick of macaroni and cheese. 2. You know, you were right. We should've signed up for camp. 3. None of my swimsuits fit. 4. Why's Dad googling "deep woods backpacking"? 5. None of my sandals fit. 6. I can see all the veins in your legs... 7. I think I was suppose [...]

Baseball Makes Me Want to Fall Asleep in My Cracker Jacks. But I Still Go Anyway.

– Posted in: Bright Side of Life, Elfie, Family, Mouths of Babes, Personal Insanity, Sports, Things To Do with Kids, This Is Supposed to be Fun, Worst Mom Randomness
Family at Reno Aces Game

The other night, we went to a baseball game. Reno has a Triple-A team called the "Aces" (original, right?), and my friend gave us some really good tickets. One of these days, my kids will go to a game where they have to sit where "normal" people sit. So far, every game they've attended has [...]

How to Throw a Kick-Butt Harry Potter Birthday Party: Part Two

– Posted in: Holidays, Life is Dangerous, Parties, Personal Insanity, Things To Do with Kids, Videos, Worst Mom Randomness
How to Throw a Kick Butt Harry Potter Birthday Party -- Little girl in sorting hat

This is the follow-up post on how to throw a kick-but Harry Potter birthday party (we did this when my daughter, Elfie, turned nine). You can find Part One, which describes all the prep work, here. It's really not as scary as it sounds... So this post is meant to walk you through the actual [...]

Maybe Next Summer My Legs Won’t Look Like I’m a Cage Fighter

– Posted in: Accidents, Injuries, Life is Dangerous, Okay That's Funny, Personal Insanity, Tammy Thinks, This Is Supposed to be Fun, Worst Mom Randomness
bruised thigh

So I know I promised to do my next post on the execution of the Harry Potter party, but I had to show you guys this. Remember how I fell off the broom? Well first, let me back up. Some of you may remember last 4th of July when I was at my dad's cabin [...]

How to Throw a Kick-Butt Harry Potter Birthday Party: Part One

– Posted in: Accidents, Holidays, Life is Dangerous, Mouths of Babes, No Good Deed, Parties, Personal Insanity, Shopping Hell, Things To Do with Kids, Worst Mom Randomness
How to throw a birthday party at Hogwarts

Thanks to my lack of organizational skills, we left my daughter Elfie's 9th birthday party planning until the very last minute. Not a big deal if my husband and I weren't insane. Unfortunately, we've set a precedent of throwing wildly fantastical theme parties for her birthday, complete with treasure hunts that involve multiple adult actors [...]

BlogHer “Voices of the Year” Loser Link-Up

– Posted in: Blogging, Bright Side of Life, Complaining, First World Problems, Personal Insanity, Stuff I Probably Shouldn't be Thinkin', Tammy Thinks, Worst Mom Randomness, Writing
WWM Loser Link Up

When I was in 8th grade, I -- try to contain yourselves -- tried out for cheerleading. In our school, this was a rather humiliating process -- one where you had to perform in front of the entire school and then get voted to be on the squad. I ended up just edging out the [...]

Gandhi-Mom Doesn’t Live Here Every Day

– Posted in: Bright Side of Life, Food, Growing Up, Newt, Parenting, Personal Insanity, Things To Do with Kids, Worst Mom Randomness
boy makes macaroni and cheese

Some days, I'm a good mom. I'm excellent, actually. Even though I feel like I'm walking through mud and the last thing I want to do is have a "teachable moment" with the children, I somehow rally and become this Gandhi-esque creature who I barely recognize. It's freaky, really. Like standing outside yourself and expecting [...]

Reno to Portland Road Trip — AKA Why I Will Never Be on “Survivor”

– Posted in: Chronic Pain, Complaining, Family, First World Problems, Jasper, Personal Insanity, Road Trip, The Great Outdoors, Things To Do with Kids, This Is Supposed to be Fun, Travel, Vacation, Worst Mom Randomness
Kids at beach, Nehalem Bay, Oregon

So I'm home from camping. Yesterday, when my friend hadn't heard from me, she emailed to make sure I hadn't crawled into a hole or gotten trapped under a porta potty. Sadly, she wasn't too far off (from the hole part). I've been in full-on meltdown mode: exhausted, killer headaches, vertigo. Stuff that makes you [...]