Dear Boy Scouts — Thanks for Giving Me an Out

– Posted in: Angry Tammy, Family, Mean People, Worst Mom Rants

Dear Boy Scouts of America,

I’d just like to thank you for finalizing the deal on the whole, “We hate gay people” thing. I appreciate you being so — in Boy Scouty terms — “forthright” about it and coming straight out with your bigotry instead of continuing to hide behind some excuse about “Needing to have meetings” or “Taking it under advisement” or “Putting off a decision for the safety of the children since all gay people are pedophiles” excuse.” Ha ha. Because that would’ve just been spineless.

Anyway, back to me. Thanks for getting me out of one more annoying kid’s activity. I never really liked you guys in the first place. Blame it on my first interactions with you. My brother’s scout mother was kind of a bitch. And my only close friend who had any deep affiliation with you ended up cheating on his wife. So, hey, maybe this has more to do with lack of stereotype. If I thought of you as a whole, I’m sure I’d like. . . never mind.

Maybe that’s your problem, too? Maybe those eleven guys who made that decision for your organization have all just run into bitchy gay people. It could happen. . .

Anyway, as grateful as I am for the, you know, keeping me from having to do lame shit like memorizing poisonous plants and making my kid wear a neckerchief, I should let you know that you’ve really screwed up. Not only are you out of step with the times, but you’ve lost the opportunity to meet a ton of incredible people. That includes my brother-in-law (the “fun” uncle), my cousin (who spent hours last week spray painting 8-year-olds’ hair at my daughter’s birthday party), and some friends (who are the couple my kids always want to visit).

Now that you’ve made this decision, who knows what other amazing people will be slipping through your fingers.

But then, I’m probably just stereotyping.

15 Comments… add one

Judy July 18, 2012, 3:38 pm

The BSA's decision had nothing to do with "hating gay people." I think it had more to do with protecting traditional family values, as they have done for many, many years. Hard to blame people and/or organizations who stand up for what they have always believed.

Jeremy July 18, 2012, 4:28 pm

Nice Blog Sunny. Maybe as a follow up you could comment on their tossing out an 18 year old Eagle scout who decided he was an atheist. I don't find it hard to blame people/organizations that stand up for what they have always believed. Using that standard, the USA would still have segregation and women wouldn't be allowed to vote. Cultures evolve. Prejudices are overcome. The old adage "that's the way we've always done it" is a weak excuse for maintaining prejudices and preventing progress.

Jeremy July 18, 2012, 4:41 pm

please define family values. I know several gay couples that have been together in a mutually monogamous, loving, respectful and supportive relationship for over 20 years. They are not representative of all homosexual relationships, just as no one else is representative of all heterosexual relationships. Sunny's point is that you just can not stereotype. Why not be all inclusive initially, and then politely ask the individuals who do not have the moral character (see Boy Scout Law below) that your organization endorses to find another organization?

Boy Scout Law

A Scout is:

Trustworthy,
Loyal,
Helpful,
Friendly,
Courteous,
Kind,
Obedient,
Cheerful,
Thrifty,
Brave,
Clean,
and Reverent.

She Said July 18, 2012, 4:52 pm

Thank you, Sunny, for the blog, and thank you, Jeremy, for the great comments. I am an atheist, and my son has asked about joining before and I told him that we will not support an organization that discriminates against people who do not believe in god or that will not allow gay people to join. He understands that. This latest announcement by the BSA does not surprise me (sadly), but like you, Sunny, it makes it easier for me to make that decision.
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Cheryl S. April 19, 2013, 12:21 pm

She Said, we too are atheist, and I wouldn’t let my son be a part of that organization either (not that he wanted to, believe me). It is amazing to me how discriminated against atheists are.

Funny side, this girl was correcting my kid when he said with the bombings and all the shootings it feels like the end of the world, and she stated that only god knows that. She looks at him and says, “you are a christian, aren’t you?” He replies, “God no!”

Kelly DeBie July 18, 2012, 5:23 pm

This is something I am deeply conflicted on. My husband was a Boy Scout for years and wanted nothing more than to share that experience with his sons. My oldest has been in Scouts for years, though we've always made sure to find inclusionary groups and spend as much time as possible educating him about things like fairness and equality. Kids are not born with a negative view of homosexuality, it is taught to them. My kids have grown up in a world where some friends just have two moms or two dads and there's nothing strange about it. It is appalling to me that the Boy Scouts continue to take this stance, especially in light of the polar opposite view of the Girl Scouts. I so wish that there was a similar program to the Boy Scouts, I would move him in a heartbeat.
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PartlySunny July 18, 2012, 5:37 pm

Hey Judy, thanks for commenting. I appreciate the dissenting, non-vitiriolic viewpoint. I think Jeremy did a great job responding, so I'll just leave it to him.

PartlySunny July 18, 2012, 5:38 pm

You make an excellent point. I personally really, really like voting. And owning property. And stuff.

PartlySunny July 18, 2012, 5:55 pm

I know I shouldn't be surprised by the decision, but I guess maybe I am? I think I thought it was possible that we'd moved beyond this. I'm unfortunately surrounded by people who are tolerant of everyone's beliefs — religious or not. And my biggest stressor regarding this issue right now is how to break it to the kids that there are people out there who actually hate their uncle.

PartlySunny July 18, 2012, 5:59 pm

I get this. It's why stereotyping is dangerous. It's not like all the PEOPLE in BSA are a bunch of bigots. And it's unfortunate that they're at the mercy of their organization when they clearly get so much joy out of it. I've heard really good things about scouting (despite my snarky remarks about neckerchiefs). It makes me sad that there are so many kids who'll miss out on experiencing it.

Judy July 18, 2012, 6:20 pm

Jeremy, I respect all opinions, and I respect and admire any couple who is monogamous and loving and respectful and supportive, no matter who they are. You asked me to define family values – – those are great family values that you used to describe your friends. I said "traditional" family values. Traditional to me is marriage between and man and a woman, and those men and women living the same family values that you described. That's all.

Clara July 18, 2012, 6:26 pm

Thank goodness the Girl Scouts are unaffiliated, I can let my girl join if she wants to when she gets older. But I am so over the Boy Scouts.
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@gmoyle July 18, 2012, 11:13 pm

I have to ask.. Which version of "traditional" marriage are we discussing here? To help me better understand The conversation.
http://www.upworthy.com/the-top-8-ways-to-be-trad

rachel July 19, 2012, 12:46 am

Wow. Look what you started! You are very diplomatic. I am not. The Boy Scouts can have their little club and exclude great people. My three boys will not be participating! I will find an organization that fits with my values, I suppose. Like being inclusive and nice to people. 😉
My recent post People I Want To Punch In The Face: Everyone.

Cheryl S. April 19, 2013, 12:16 pm

Bravo for this! Bravo! I coudln’t have said it better myself.

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