So this is a little crazy — I’m going to be on TV. And the best part about it is, I don’t even have to leave the house! Which means I could technically stay in my yoga pants if I felt like it, and no one would be the wiser.
There’s a morning-ish show here called News 4 Forum where people chat using Google+ Hangouts. So today, I’ll be the Mommy Blogger yapping about the hard-hitting topic of. . . pumpkin patches. I know. Take the kids out of the room.
Anyway, because I’m a little anal about these things and I didn’t want to miss anything, I hit up my Worst Moms on Facebook to see what their best advice was for surviving a day at The Patch.
What to Bring
- Cash or checks — most of these operations are family run. Better to screw the credit card companies out of a few dollars than these people, even if it’s available.
- Water and snacks. Or hot chocolate if it’s cold (and you happen to be a really nice person).
- Alcohol (joking — sort of)
- Sunscreen/hats — at least around here. It was 81 degrees today.
- Change of clothes for the kids, especially if you bring their “cute” clothes for pictures.
- Some crazy MacGyver tool to cut the pumpkins off the vines — there’s nothing worse than being tired, hot, and annoyed because you can’t twist the damn thing off.
- A kiddie potty — if you freak out about port-a-potties and you’re potty training, you need this.
- Hand sanitizer — see “port-a-potty”
What to Do Before You Go
- Check the hours of operation — we didn’t do this the other day. It was a lovely drive…
- Treat this like you’re going to buy a Christmas tree. In other words, bring a car that’s big enough to hold everything if you’re going to get a lot of stuff. The giant pumpkin and the corn stalks probably won’t fit in the back of our Honda Civic.
- Talk to the kids about how big a pumpkin they’re allowed to get. Because once you’re there, it’s game over.
- Become one with the idea that you’re all going to get dirty.
- Become one with the idea that you’re probably not going to get a good family photo.
When You Arrive
- Beware the corn maze — it’s supposed to be fun. Oh sure. It’s super fun when you’re dragging exhausted children in circles like an October version of The Shining. Just make sure you ask someone the “secret” to getting out before you go in.
- Take pictures — duh. But here are some tips…
Taking Great Photos
- Try to avoid the middle of the day — the light is the worst.
- Speaking of light — try to keep the sun on one side of the person’s face. Don’t blast them in the front. It makes them squint and their features don’t look nice.
Play with the light
- Don’t be afraid to shoot in light shade or on an overcast day. If you have an iPhone, just make sure you tap on a dark section to lighten up the exposure.
- Pretend you’re a photojournalist and take everything. Some of your best shots will be the ones that aren’t posed.
You never know what you’ll get
- Don’t be afraid to get down low with your kids. And move in close.
Their eyes met across a crowded pumpkin patch
- And most importantly. . . hand the camera to someone else! I just looked through nine years of Halloween photos and found about five with me in them. My kids are going to think I was never around.
So good luck. Happy pumpkin hunting. And may the odds be ever in your favor.
Tammy Soong is a writer, wife, and mom from Reno, Nevada. She takes an absurd amount of pain medication, but not enough to have actually named her children "Newt" and "Elfie." She spends most days stressing out over clutter, writing stuff for this place, and working on podcasts with her gal pals, the Blogging Betties.
Gotta say, though, as the family Mary Kay beauty consultant–sunscreen is necessary no matter how cold or cloudy it is. Sun still ages and kills.
Agreed — it’s the reason why I’m generally alabaster. Obsessive skin protection. Of course I’m also vitamin D deficient…