So this is basically how our morning went…
Me (pointing at a photo of people shaking Joe Biden’s hand on the front page of the newspaper): Hey, look — if I would’ve gone to the Biden event yesterday, that could’ve been me.
Newt: You’re in there?
Me: No, I could’ve gone. And my friend had tickets for me that would’ve gotten me really close — like that.
Newt: So you went?
Me: No. I didn’t go. I didn’t want to go this time. It’s just kind of a pain, and I didn’t want to do it. But if I did, I would’ve been close enough to Biden to shake his hand.
Few minutes later. Newt, looking at the paper: Hey look! It’s Joe Biden!
Skips off to brush teeth. I put a permanent palm mark on my forehead from slapping it so hard. Elfie looks at me and shakes her head. Leaves to brush her teeth.
Tenzin: You know, the only thing that keeps me from stressing out that there may be something “wrong” with him is that whenever I spend time with other boys his age, they’re just as screwed up, inattentive, and bonkers as he is.
Me: How is it possible that women don’t run the world? I mean, seriously. Is it just some deal throughout the ages where you guys get big and beat us up so we don’t stand a chance? Because we’re clearly smarter.
Tenzin: I’d agree with you if it weren’t for all those women voting for Romney. They throw the whole thing off.
Me: Good point.