Maybe Next Summer My Legs Won’t Look Like I’m a Cage Fighter

– Posted in: Accidents, Injuries, Life is Dangerous, Okay That's Funny, Personal Insanity, Tammy Thinks, This Is Supposed to be Fun, Worst Mom Randomness

So I know I promised to do my next post on the execution of the Harry Potter party, but I had to show you guys this. Remember how I fell off the broom?

Well first, let me back up. Some of you may remember last 4th of July when I was at my dad’s cabin and fell through a hole while chasing Jasper (our puppy). I basically put my foot into a space between a bunch of rocks, and my whole leg went down, all the way to my hip. I didn’t see the hole because it was covered with foliage (I love that word — it sounds so much more interesting than “weeds and other crap.”).

leg cut from fall through rocks on woman

Anyway, I got two nice gashes in my right leg, just in time for shorts season. And I told everyone these things weren’t going away anytime soon (it’s the curse of having this nice Asian skin). Of course no one believed me…

leg scar on woman

Fast forward to this summer and what do you know — still have scars (and apparently no pigment — gotta love that first lighting situation). Fortunately I’m not a 16-year-old girl, so my sense of vanity has decreased to the point that I don’t really care (not that I really cared last year). But now, I have this:

bruised thigh

I look like someone’s been beating me with a bat. The bruise is, of course, on the inside of my thigh, so I have a choice. I can wear shorts and get asked the inevitable question of “How in the world did you get that?” (the answer to which is rather long, ridiculous, and fraught with openings for pornographic one-liners). Or I could just stick to pants.

At least I won’t need as much sunscreen.


14 Comments… add one

vanita July 11, 2013, 3:24 am

oh girl who is gonna bother with that spot when you have legs like that? palease. how about longer shorts? don’t go spending the summer in pants if u can avoid it. thats what i’ll have to do this summer and it really bites. hugs to you, you brave girl, tromping through foliage and all. 😀
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Tammy July 15, 2013, 10:24 am

Thanks girl. The foliage tromping really was quite ridiculous. I wish I would’ve gotten it on video.

Cheryl S. July 11, 2013, 5:25 am

I’m with Vanita…put those shorts on. You have some rockin’ legs…bruises and scars and all!

Tammy July 15, 2013, 10:25 am

When it comes down to it, does it really matter anyway? I mean, who looks at me?
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Kristy July 11, 2013, 1:16 pm

I’d wear shorts no matter what if I had your legs!
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Tammy July 15, 2013, 10:26 am

YOU can come over for jello salad and Arnold Palmers.:)

Andrea July 12, 2013, 11:02 am

Ouch! That injury looks like it requires some couch-sitting recovery time to me.
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Tammy July 15, 2013, 10:27 am

See, now that’s some good advice. You really need to milk these things while you have the chance.
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Lisa July 12, 2013, 6:55 pm

hahaha…love the comment “how can you complain with legs like that…” so true!!! splurge on a title 9 skirt—the 19 inch ones are long enough that you feel adult and short enough for coolness and spunk. they’ll hide that adorable bruise you got from…..oh! right, can’t go there…..

Tammy July 15, 2013, 10:33 am

Of course YOU would go back there, Lisa. Sick, sick, sick.

(it’s why we’re friends…)

Andrea July 13, 2013, 7:56 am

I think banged up legs makes it look like you were having fun and doing something!
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Tammy July 15, 2013, 11:09 am

Good point! I’m not klutzy. I’m active. This is why you’re a good writer.

Carrington December 18, 2013, 7:50 pm

The Atlantic monthly recently had a — fairly racy — article on the history of witches and broomsticks.
“Why do witches ride broomsticks?”

Tammy December 19, 2013, 12:12 am

I’ll have to check that out — that’s making me chuckle.

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