Tonight I spent nine minutes watching my two kids do individual, interpretive dance routines to music from a Toy Story greeting card that only played the first four lines from “You’ve Got a Friend in Me.” The reason I know that the dances lasted nine minutes is because I mistakenly videoed them with my phone, thinking they’d be interesting. And before you judge me for being a complete bitch and not loving the experience of watching my children flit and float through the house in un-choreographed bliss, let me just reiterate that the music consisted of the non-dancing child opening, closing, and then re-opening the card to replay Randy Newman over and over and over. This was after I was given assurances that the pre-bedtime performance was going to be “quick.”
Mean mommy move number two: I basically told them that their show was driving me crazy, and the theater was closing its doors. And then I went on to lecture them on the finer points of watering down a good thing (telling a joke too many times, playing a song too many times, giving a lecture too many times). This of course broke their spirits completely and crushed any dreams they ever had of becoming Broadway dancers, professional comedians, or contestants on American Idol. So I think I’ve done my job.
The thing about summertime is, I’ve been spending a ton of time with the kids. Right now — because no one’s in camp, we aren’t going anywhere, and no one’s coming to visit — the kids and I are pretty much together 24/7. Which would be fine if it weren’t for the fact that I’m not spending any time with myself unless it’s at one o’clock in the morning. And if my husband weren’t back working a crazy schedule that makes him either gone, sleeping, sleepy, or kind of cranky. And if I weren’t in really bad pain and basically exhausted all the time. And it would be fine if every time I picked something up, “people” didn’t immediately take it back out and spread all around the room like wedding guests throwing rice or a hunter firing buckshot.
But other than that, the kids are generally pretty fun.
So I’m sure I’ll actually be missing them in a few weeks when it’s time to go back to school. I’m sure I’ll miss when we won’t have these lazy mornings of staying in our pajamas until it’s almost embarrassing, long evenings of playing soccer in the backyard instead of pulling the thousands of now-giant weeds, and late nights of eating ice cream for no good reason (other than the fact that it’s just summer).
So in a few short weeks, I know I’ll start getting those summertime pangs when I’m rushing everyone through their breakfasts or we’re late for yet another afternoon activity or I’ve forgotten yet another “something” to go “somewhere.” But I know I’ll just have to think hard and remember the annoying times to help me get through the rough spots. The clutter, the exhaustion, the wet swimming towels found balled up and stashed away somewhere for days. Somehow, I’ll just have to keep the memories alive.
And if that doesn’t work, I’ll always have the nine-minute video.
Tammy Soong is a writer, wife, and mom from Reno, Nevada. She takes an absurd amount of pain medication, but not enough to have actually named her children "Newt" and "Elfie." She spends most days stressing out over clutter, writing stuff for this place, and working on podcasts with her gal pals, the Blogging Betties.
Ha hah! I get you, honey. The interpretive dance routines are definitely not as bad as the interpretive song routines, but they are up there. And yes, yes, I love my kids. But come on, how many times can you hear 'you've got a friend in me' without wanting to scream into a pillow? ONE, that's how many!
Love it Sunny! Bloody kids and their 'concerts'. They fill your heart with joy and dread concurrently. It's the world's way at getting back at us for all the pain we put our own parents through.
Sounds like Summer has been fun.
The good thing about us humans is that we do tend to remember the good stuff. Mouldy towels begone! Keep smiling 🙂
Oh boy! I haven't gotten to the intrepretive dance stage yet. Thanks for the heads up. Question: when is one supposed to get embarrassed about being in pj's too long? Is it when I change into a new set right before I go to bed?
lord, are we living the same painful…er,i mean blissful existence? “watch me” the phrase that just keeps on giving.
@Maxabella: OMG, it took every ounce of patience in my being to not run out of the room screaming. I think I'll send that video to the Pentagon so they can use it to torture, er, interrogate prisoners.
@MultipleMum: It's true about retribution. I used to put on concerts all the time! My poor parents.
@Kim D: Oh, it's coming. And as for the pj's, I've found that if you wear the kind that sort of look like regular clothes, you're golden.
@Deborah: I'm actually typing this with a kid on each side of me, both bugging me to watch them act out little plays with their princesses and Bionicals.