This story comes from my friend, Metis (my choice of aliases, not hers). We’re just scratching the surface of her vast experiences. Look forward to more shenanigans in the future.
We were in Phoenix. That explains a lot. I don’t know about you, but being in Phoenix puts me on autopilot; intellectually, I know things are “not as they seem,” but I get sucked in – to movie set quality microclimate strip malls, the grid streets with no landmarks, and the hot, hot, hot, hot sun. January, 85 degrees. Who does that?
So, we are heading to frozen yogurt. My husband, George, and our daughter, Alexa, who was about 18 months old at the time, excitedly get out of the car. We don’t live in convenience land, so the prospect of having driven 15 minutes (just 15 minutes!) for TCBY makes us feel like we’re really getting away with something good. Suddenly, I hear painful shrieks. I figure Alexa has forgotten her doll, Lucy, in the car, and I mentally prepare myself to, in this order, get my purse and then pull out the “It’s OK, just a minute, I’ll help you” line, the one I use when I’m annoyed I have to change my plans – when I realize this is not a test; I’m sure I see Alexa’s thumb caught in the car door! I’m confused; we bought a Volvo station wagon? How could this be happening? Adrenaline surging, I leap to the rescue, and forcefully yank open the door, saving Alexa from an ER visit and certainly surgery. Meanwhile, George is in TCBY, picking out his double scoops and toppings. And, strangely, Alexa’s cries double in volume, and now she has a nasty cut above her lip that is quickly swelling. I am sweating profusely, and I look around wildly for the culprit – who just slugged my daughter in the mouth? I grab her around the waist, swing my purse over my shoulder, and run into the shop, screaming “Ice! Ice!”
Inexplicably, Alexa had no bruising or swelling in her thumb, but a sizable lump on her lip, due to a car door that opened much more quickly than I expected and connected firmly with her upper lip. For the next couple of days, she would point to it and mournfully say, “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy.”
We still go to Phoenix (we have family living there; we like them and they still like us). I haven’t been back to the TCBY, though, in years.
Tammy Soong is a writer, wife, and mom from Reno, Nevada. She takes an absurd amount of pain medication, but not enough to have actually named her children "Newt" and "Elfie." She spends most days stressing out over clutter, writing stuff for this place, and working on podcasts with her gal pals, the Blogging Betties.
If it helps, I shut my eldest son's entire hand in the boot of the car once. We did have to go to A&E but, miraculously, he was OK. Well, I say OK – they did look like comedy, swelling fingers you see in the cartoons. Suffice to say every time I shut the boot now, I yell, “Clear!” but he's always 6ft away anyway.
I got my fingers slammed in a door when I was around 10, and I STILL remember how badly it hurt. But then, I'm kind of a big wuss.