R.I.P. Shoe Tree

– Posted in: Life is Dangerous, Mean People, Nevada, Road Trip, Sappy Tammy, Travel, Worst Mom Rants

Like most parents, I’ve spent a fair amount of time reassuring my kids. I tell them that their house isn’t going to burn down (thanks Little Drummer Boy). That they aren’t going to get snatched from their beds by a witch (thanks Tangled). That we, or rather I, being the mom and always getting offed in these situations, am not going to die (thanks every other Disney movie). But being the person I am, I can never quite bring myself to promise them anything because, of course, you can’t promise that horrible things won’t happen (which might explain why my daughter, Elfie, crawls into my bed every night after having a bad dream).

As the kids have gotten older, they’ve inevitably become more aware of the “bad stuff” that’s out in the world. The other day, my son, Newt, told me his friend’s house, which is in a gated community, was the best place to live because it kept out the bad guys. He’s eight, so I was pretty much at a loss when it came down to any sort of philosophical arguments over socioeconomic equity. And the last thing I wanted to do was burst his bubble about gates keeping anyone out of anywhere.

And here’s the thing — while we’ve of course taught the kids to be wary of strangers and how to beat the bejesus out of someone, we’ve also taught them that the majority of people are inherently good. The other day, when we were watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas, we talked about how sometimes it just takes being loved or witnessing love to change someone’s heart. And that sometimes people — especially grown-ups — just forget about “the good.” (I know, I’m sorry — this is getting way too sappy for my taste, too).

So now. Now I have a huge problem. Now I have to break it to Elfie that people indeed are not inherently good. That there are some people out there who are mean, cruel, and destructive for no other reason than to just be mean, cruel, and destructive. That there’s no rhyme or reason to the world. Problem is, I can hardly explain it to her because I don’t quite know how to explain it to myself.

Visiting the Shoe Tree in Churchill County, NV

Here in Northern Nevada, we have a Shoe Tree. It’s a single, 70-foot-tall cottonwood tree on the side of Highway 50 — “The Loneliest Road.” For years, people have passed by it, stopped, and thrown their shoes up into it’s branches (I know — don’t ask). Last spring, we took a road trip across the state, and Elfie fell in love with this tree. Why? I guess because it’s kooky and so is she. She even did her first grade Nevada Day project on it.

Today we found out that over New Year’s, someone cut down the tree. Just took a chainsaw and cut it down. The people who live around there are in shock. I sat here in front of my computer and actually cried. And the worst part — I don’t know how I’m going to tell Elfie.

I suppose you could say Elfie comes from a long line of women who have a thing about trees. When some incompetent tree trimmer butchered one of my mom’s favorite trees, she took it as the final sign to start building a house somewhere else. When there was talk of cutting down the giant cottonwoods near our house, I told my husband we’d be moving (that made him overjoyed, as you might imagine). And when we went to see Avatar, well let’s just say it’s a good thing someone tipped me off in advance to that scene with the Hometree, otherwise I probably would’ve had a nervous breakdown in the theater.

There’s just something so wrong about cutting down a tree in the middle of the desert. It wasn’t bothering anyone or causing any trouble. It didn’t ask to be singled out as special. But when it was, it held its place in the world and brought people a little bit of happiness.

We should all be so lucky.

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16 Comments… add one

Jane Roper January 4, 2011, 4:02 pm

How positively awful. And yes, how sad it is when we have to tell our children the unpleasant truth.

But hopefully by doing so, and by sharing our sadness at the suckiness of mean people, we teach our kids compassion. And add a few more players to the ranks of the good guys.

Verity January 4, 2011, 4:33 pm

Ok – I haven't even seen the tree, and I want to cry. Now I never will see it. How depressing. I was thinking about this subject the other day. I was wondering what grade the children are taught about 9-11. Because I think we (the parents) should be the ones to talk about that, plus a lot of other awful things, first. But what a terrible, terrible conversation. I got all choked up try to read out loud the Magic Treehouse book about the Titanic. Explaining to the girls what happened to all those people was terrible enough, but when it is coupled with people acting very, very badly. I just don't know. Makes me shudder

Lynnie January 4, 2011, 4:53 pm

That is horrible. Shame on someone for doing that. I am so dissapointed in someone!

Wombat Central January 4, 2011, 6:14 pm

I remember being really bummed out when the town cut down one of our huge maple trees in front of our house when I was about 5 or 6. I'm sure there was a good reason for it, unlike your shoe tree. It does suck to have to tell our kids about people who aren't so nice.

Heidi Ayarbe January 4, 2011, 6:27 pm

I can't believe it. Honestly. How senseless. Just a little sad about that, too, today.

XLMIC January 4, 2011, 6:42 pm

How awful. I have had some of those same conversations with my kids, but there really is nothing quite like having the reality of how mean and hurtful and destructive people can be hit something or someone you know and love. Those are among the most painful lessons. But they can also be the greatest opportunities for learning and teaching because they are usually remembered forever. Poor tree… and poor Elfie.

Dena January 4, 2011, 9:20 pm

Maybe the tree was sick. Maybe it was in danger of falling over in the next big storm, possibly into the highway, so cutting it down was an act of mercy, preventing deaths. In which case, you can start a movement to create a new shoe tree on a random tree near you. You can tell her about it as part of a circle-of-life lesson.

The Empress January 5, 2011, 7:01 am

We're tree huggers, too, and my children have seen me cry over trees cut down.

We had a man cut down a beautiful, old tree so he could have a better view of the lake. I'm not kidding.

And when my IL's did the same in Calif., so they could “see the ocean” {yeah…20 miles away} I couldn't believe it.

How are there people like that?

Alysia - Try Defying Gravity January 5, 2011, 8:20 am

the end of innocence sucks. there's no getting around that.

can you start your own shoe tree? maybe as a memorial to the original one? you can blame it on me when your neighbors complain…

deborah January 5, 2011, 11:53 am

how'd you like to be the poor pathetic person that cut down that tree? can you imagine how small a life that person has? how little that person believes he/she is? i might start there, that's what i'm thinking because my 10 year old will ask about it, as he saw a bit of it on the television before school and i saw him tear up…..and we're in michigan. he is very concerned about animal hoarders currently. parenting is no walk in the park.

PartlySunny January 5, 2011, 4:08 pm

So I told Elfie about the shoe tree last night. At first I thought she was just shocked and indignant. And then she started sobbing and crying out, “Shoe tree! Shoe tree!” And THEN she says, “So they cut it down. . . and just left it there?!” Like it was a person who was shot and whose body was left lying in the snow. She's killin' me.

Incidentally, now she wants to catch whoever did it and hang 'em up by the balls (ok, that's a little bit of hyperbole). She really is her mother's daughter. . .

Sherri January 5, 2011, 9:56 pm

So sad! But I'm right there with Elfie!! I also wanted to come by to say how much I have been enjoying your blog & that I want to give you a blog award! Come see—life is good award from Sherri @ Mommy's lil Corner
mamasherri@blogspot.com

Verna January 5, 2011, 10:07 pm

I was born and raised in Fallon but moved away 34 years ago. Whenever I visit, if I travel east of town, I always try to to to the Middlegate and Shoe tree area…..I will sure miss that! People can be so stupid and destructive….such a shame. I'm sorry your daughter is learning such a hard lesson! I'm just glad she got the chance to enjoy the tree, too. She'll always have good memories, just like I will 🙂

Suzy January 6, 2011, 12:52 pm

When they were rebuilding the hotel down the street from me they cut down a palm tree. It was low and squat and it's fronds were beautiful. One day it was gone, sawed off. I stopped and asked the workmen what happened and they shrugged.

I was upset and I see by this post and the comments you got that we all get upset when a tree goes away. I think that proves how connected we are on some genetic level to the rest of the world, including nature.

I agree with the commenter who said start another one.

Mary Bee January 7, 2011, 12:36 pm

A lesson in the concept of impermanence. Nothing lasts forever. My guess would be that the person who topped the tree thought he/she was taking art to a different level.

PartlySunny January 7, 2011, 1:02 pm

I'm amazed (why, I don't know) by how much this tree has affected people. Thanks for all of the great comments. Elfie has been talking about starting a new tree — it's been hard for me to explain that not everyone is exactly keen on the idea of having a tree with a bunch of shoes in it. Especially in the middle of suburbia with tight CC&R's. I think she's starting to understand the special allure of a lone tree serving as a sort of oasis in the desert.

Clearly this blog attracts the “right” people (she said with a smile). We try really hard to convey to the kids so many of the ideas you guys have brought up. Including this last one from Mary Bee about impermanence. Such a difficult concept for me, let alone them. We really had to tackle that one when my mom died. So like Mary said, this is just another lesson…

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