The Case of the Missing Diaper Bag

– Posted in: Accidents, Diaper Disaster, Forgetting, Poop, Worst Mom Moments

Most people are familiar with Murphy’s Law: “Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.” Exactly how Mr. Murphy came up with this decree, no one knows. But if it turns out he ever talked to a mom like Alison, who blogs over at Mama Wants This!, well, mystery solved. 

 My son is only 15 months so I like to think I have yet to have a World’s Worst Moms moment. However, upon reflection, there was a time the kid was covered in poop. . .

I was taking the Monkey for his 6-month check-up. The pediatrician was only a short, 10-minute drive down the road. I hadn’t packed the diaper bag for the first time ever. Now, mind you, I diligently pack and bring the diaper bag out with me EACH AND EVERY TIME we step out of the house, from the time he was born. On this day though, I thought to myself, “Nah, we won’t need it, it’d be a 20 minute drive to and fro, and a short 30-minute appointment at most with zero waiting time. Besides, he just pooped.”

Halfway to our appointment, the Monkey made a funny sound. I whipped my head around and saw him shudder. And he frowned. I frowned, and jokingly said to him, “Precious, I hope you didn’t just do a #2 there, cos Mama didn’t bring your diaper bag!”

We arrive, I park the car and went to the back seat to get him into the baby carrier. And I saw it. POOP COVERED BEHIND. His WHITE onesie was completely mustard yellow from the waist down. Aside from it being an explosion, it had squelched its way all around his bottom half because he was sitting down. No diaper bag = no fresh diaper = no change of clothes but thank goodness, I had an opened packet of wet wipes in the car. I managed to wipe (smear) some of the poop off his onesie, held my breath and plopped him into the baby carrier and walked with him to a nearby store and managed to get diapers. Of course there were no stores nearby selling baby clothes. What are the chances?

So we walked into the pediatrician’s office and the first thing I had to do was change him. Stripped naked, wiped down with many, many wet wipes, clean diaper put on and my poor child was NAKED. I had to call the husband and instructed him to bring a spare change of clothes for the baby because he had pooped himself and his Mama didn’t bring his diaper bag, I whispered. Fortunately the pediatrician was very understanding and did not make fun of me. She was rather sympathetic and joked that it was much easier to have him weighed and checked out without the inconvenience of clothes. World’s Worst Mom. Epic parenting fail.

Needless to say, the diaper bag has been stitched to my side ever since.

13 Comments… add one

Baby Bump & Beyond April 20, 2011, 12:38 am

I did that…. on an airplane! My first plane ride to see my parents (45 min-1 hour flight) DD, 3months at the time, blew out her diaper as soon as we hit altitude after take-off. I had no idea there were changing tables on the plane and I hadn't thought to pack a change of clothes in my carry-on.
I have learned MUCH since then!

Natalie April 20, 2011, 5:24 am

OMG that is too funny! They also seem to prove you wrong just when you think you figure them out!

Mama Wants This April 20, 2011, 5:27 am

And that is only ONE poop incident. There were other er, smaller ones….

Ado April 20, 2011, 7:58 am

LOL! That is SO very funny. We all have our Poop moments. I had one, I forget which baby it was now because the baby was covered – head to toe – in poop. Poopy-pants bigtime! Funny post!

Queenmother09 April 20, 2011, 8:54 pm

Ahhhh, babies and poop. Should be an entire class just for that one.

XLMIC April 20, 2011, 10:14 pm

LOL… I had to make a diaper out of an old pair of leggings, a plastic Target bag and some scotch tape once. I called it my “Macgyver diaper”. Like you, I had uncharacteristically forgotten the diaper bag while attending a school info night for one of my older kids.

No 'mom fail' on that one… s*** happens :P

Worlds Worst Moms April 20, 2011, 10:23 pm

Dear lord. You're going to make me pee my pants. And I don't have any of that stuff you've listed handy.

Worlds Worst Moms April 20, 2011, 10:31 pm

Sorry to be a party pooper (I know — so bad but I couldn't help myself) but I just got a report of someone trying to comment and not being able to. If this has also happened to YOU, please email me, and I'll go bug the Disqus people: worldsworstmoms@gmail.com

And while I'm on the subject, because we've just switched over to Disqus, if you have any opinions about it — yay or nah — let them be known here. I have noticed that as a blogger, it's a bit more labor intensive to get set up with them, but once you're in, it's kind of nice.

Thanks everybody!

Barbara L April 20, 2011, 10:58 pm

I used cloth diapers with both my sons. Once I had to fold up a tee shirt and use it for a diaper. (don't even ask!) Hey, the bottom was covered, don't judge me. LOL

Francerants April 21, 2011, 7:44 pm

One day in the future you will be able to leave your home w/o the U-Haul of baby stuff and it will be great, but a little sad too.

Verity April 22, 2011, 9:44 pm

Oh my, that brought back memories – that newborn poop is so amazing…I remember being at a breast-feeding support group, hearing THAT sound and looking down to see the yellow mustard color poop all down my leg – capris and skin (ugh). First, disengage boob, cover up, find some lucky person to hold baby, then what? I had no extra PANTS for myself – dear god! I had an extra shirt, but really???

Getrealmommy April 27, 2011, 10:29 pm

Ah man. I can't believe I am headed back to the diaper bag stage again. Thanks for reminding me of all the “joy”. :)

mominrome May 2, 2011, 12:48 pm

What the hell!! Picturing the all thing is already enough….I can't even think of smelling it…. ah! ah! fun! fun! fun!

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