Most people are familiar with Murphy’s Law: “Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.” Exactly how Mr. Murphy came up with this decree, no one knows. But if it turns out he ever talked to a mom like Alison, who blogs over at Mama Wants This!, well, mystery solved.
My son is only 15 months so I like to think I have yet to have a World’s Worst Moms moment. However, upon reflection, there was a time the kid was covered in poop. . .
I was taking the Monkey for his 6-month check-up. The pediatrician was only a short, 10-minute drive down the road. I hadn’t packed the diaper bag for the first time ever. Now, mind you, I diligently pack and bring the diaper bag out with me EACH AND EVERY TIME we step out of the house, from the time he was born. On this day though, I thought to myself, “Nah, we won’t need it, it’d be a 20 minute drive to and fro, and a short 30-minute appointment at most with zero waiting time. Besides, he just pooped.”
Halfway to our appointment, the Monkey made a funny sound. I whipped my head around and saw him shudder. And he frowned. I frowned, and jokingly said to him, “Precious, I hope you didn’t just do a #2 there, cos Mama didn’t bring your diaper bag!”
We arrive, I park the car and went to the back seat to get him into the baby carrier. And I saw it. POOP COVERED BEHIND. His WHITE onesie was completely mustard yellow from the waist down. Aside from it being an explosion, it had squelched its way all around his bottom half because he was sitting down. No diaper bag = no fresh diaper = no change of clothes but thank goodness, I had an opened packet of wet wipes in the car. I managed to wipe (smear) some of the poop off his onesie, held my breath and plopped him into the baby carrier and walked with him to a nearby store and managed to get diapers. Of course there were no stores nearby selling baby clothes. What are the chances?
So we walked into the pediatrician’s office and the first thing I had to do was change him. Stripped naked, wiped down with many, many wet wipes, clean diaper put on and my poor child was NAKED. I had to call the husband and instructed him to bring a spare change of clothes for the baby because he had pooped himself and his Mama didn’t bring his diaper bag, I whispered. Fortunately the pediatrician was very understanding and did not make fun of me. She was rather sympathetic and joked that it was much easier to have him weighed and checked out without the inconvenience of clothes. World’s Worst Mom. Epic parenting fail.
Needless to say, the diaper bag has been stitched to my side ever since.