The Week that Was

Sorry for the radio silence (or or internet silence — whatever they call it in blogging). I’m not dead. Although over the last week, there were a couple of times I sorta kinda wished I was. Ah chronic pain. Where would I be without you…

Anyway, I thought I should catch everyone up on some of the stuff that I wished I could’ve written down while I wasn’t able to write anything down for one reason or another. I can’t blame all of it on my uncooperative body. Part of my absence was due to our trip to Lake Almanor, where my dad’s cabin has spotty internet access. It’s like being back in 1995, so we have to do crazy stuff like play cards, read books, and talk to each other. Spooky.

• Jasper ate a bee and got stung on the lip. I have to say that I found this so, so disturbing. It took all my willpower to remain nonchalant about it because. . . HE GOT STUNG IN THE MOUTH BY A BEE! If that happened to me, I’d be in the hospital.

• Jasper also dug up a dead possum. Let’s just say it led to quite a few unpleasant cleaning situations and our first unscheduled trip to the vet. The first of many, I’m sure.

• And last Jasper update — for those of you really sick of Jasper updates — he went swimming for the first time, during which he used Tenzin as a flotation device by climbing on his head and trying to drown him:

 

• In other news, I almost broke my leg (or at least I thought I almost broke my leg) when I stepped into a hole. I was chasing — you guessed it — Jasper along some boulders, and I put my foot on a spot where it turns out there were leaves and nuthin’ else. No broken bones, just bruises all the way up to my crotch and a bunch of slices that make me look like I’ve been in a knife fight. I’ve been telling people it was a bad shaving accident.

• It turns out the new school where we were thinking of sending the kids is going to be located half an hour away, not ten minutes. So here’s the dilemma — do we drive our asses across town for the possibility of a better education, or do we stick it out with the old school and hope that things improve? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

• We had Elfie’s birthday party. It was supposed to be low-key this year, but I’m an idiot and of course it turned into a giant summer extravaganza. I’m pretty sure that’s what threw me into a complete and utter tailspin. I’m having a hard time sleeping, but I can’t seem to ever sleep enough. And I hurt everywhere all the time, in places where I’d forgotten I had places. Dang kids.

I’ll do a separate post on the party so you all can see how ca-razy I truly am and why I actually deserve all this pain and retribution. We did another quest — it was a doozy.

• I still can’t believe my youngest child is eight. Sometimes Elfie seems much wiser and more mature than I am, and it completely freaks me out. She spent the evening of her birthday dinner hanging out with my 21-year-old cousin and his friends. They were hungover so I’m guessing she may have had to dumb the conversation down a little.

Elfie stayed up until twelve o’clock the night before her birthday (we’ve been going to bed at outrageously late times because it’s so light out). We took a lighter into her room and let her blow it out. I’m pretty sure it’ll be one of those weird things she remembers when she’s my age.

I don’t think anyone had a bad time during Elfie’s birthday week. Her brother was happy because she got Legos. We were happy because we had an excuse to have our friends over for a party. And Jasper, well…

He was just happy to help with the wrapping paper.

Anyway, hope you’re all enjoying the summer. Sorry for being M.I.A. It’s the dog’s fault (I’m blaming him for all my current shortcomings). He may look cute, but he’s deadly.

*All photos by Tammy Soong. Don’t steal. That’s so uncool.