‘Til Burning Man Do Us Part

I went out the other night and met some friends for a drink.  This was, I’m sad to say, one of the more exciting events of late, due to the fact that my life is incredibly boring.  But here’s what made it even more irregular:  I was sans husband, it was a school night, and the friends were “boys.”  I got to talk about movies, tell really bad jokes, and play pool.  If it weren’t for the fact that I was drinking tonic water and didn’t have a paper due the next day, I’d say it felt just like being back in college.

And I came home happy.  And early.  My husband, Tenzin, was shocked to see me walk through the door at 10:30.  Apparently he thought I’d be rolling in at dawn or something.

Sad but true, it’s been a long time since I just hung out in a bar, chatting it up with friends.  I go to lunch and coffee — with my friends who have kids.  We have dinner — with our friends who have kids.  And we go to parties — with our friends who have kids (often times with kids in tow).  But this was the first time in a long time that I met people who were single, kidless, and full of non-kid topics to talk about.

Don’t get me wrong — when I’m with my friends with kids, we naturally fall into the parenting conversation thing.  And that’s great.  I need it.  I’d freak without it.  But the bar was a nice little reprieve.  And even so, the kids still came up.  They couldn’t not.  Because they’re always there.

Anyway, my pathetically boring life aside, here’s where — I think — this story gets funny.  As you may know, I’m on all of these social networking sites, trolling for like-minded people to drag over here to read my blog.  Or trolling for people who may hate me and who’ll just read my blog because they’re, I don’t know, sadistic.  Anyway, the other day, I read a comment from a woman who said she didn’t think it was appropriate for married people to go to Burning Man.  If you don’t know, Burning Man is. . . oh hell, just google it.  I can’t describe it here.  Anyway, her opinion made me do that “Wha?” thing with my face at the computer screen.

Apparently after you get married, you’re suddenly prohibited from seeing other people naked, taking drugs, or partying (which, I assume, were the major offenses in her mind).  All of these things are, incidentally, not what Burning Man is all about.  But let’s just say, for the sake of argument, that it is —  that Burning Man is the modern-day re-creation of Sodom and Gomorrah in the Black Rock Desert.  Noah, ready the arc.

Just as background, not that it matters, but Tenzin and I aren’t swingers.  Nor do we do drugs (although we experimented in our youth).  And as for the partying, well, I just described how wild and crazy that’s been lately.  But here’s the thing.  I get the impression that the commenter meant (and this is totally reading into things) that the temptations of Burning Man could lead to some sort of marital infidelity.  That while you may be able to resist the guy at the grocery store who grabs the same melon or the woman at work who always calls you “brilliant,” you will lose all sense of yourself, your commitments, and your morals once your feet hit the Playa.  The extra stimulation of the wind in your hair, the music in your ears, and the alcohol in your veins may be that snake in the garden of Eden that gets you to take a bite out of the apple (sorry, I couldn’t resist).

This is what I find so amusing about conservatives.  See, I’m not worried about Tenzin going to work and getting it on with one of the nurses in a supply closet.  He, clearly, wasn’t concerned that I was going to go shag one of my buddies at the bar.  And if we went to the Black Rock Desert, we wouldn’t be stressed out about finding the other one hooking up with a stranger on the Playa.  So I’m thinking that the “Married people shouldn’t go to Burning Man” thing is yet another example of the “Your marriage is undermining my marriage” argument.  Which is just asinine.  Because if you have insecurities about you or your husband shacking up with someone else, then me going to Burning Man isn’t going to make that any better or worse.  Just like. . . wait for it. . . gay people getting married isn’t going to make your marriage any weaker or stronger.

But if you really feel that it does — if you truly feel that me going out to the desert and dressing up in bad Halloween costumes for a week or that my friends Mike and Joe registering at Crate and Barrel is going to lead to your divorce — then may I suggest that perhaps you should concentrate on something other than us.

And just to take the stress off of you. . . our marriages?  Not hinging on yours at all.