Meet Rebecca from Just Another Blog. She says her now-6-year-old daughter doesn’t appear to be scarred from this event. But will any of us really know what we’ve done until our kids hit their 20’s and start ratting us out in therapy?
Back when my daughter was only 2 1/2 years old, we ventured out to Burger King to have a meal fit for royalty. I was telling her that she had to eat her highly nutritious meal of chicken nuggets, fries and fruit punch all gone before I’d let her play in the play place and that if she left the play place with a happy face we would go to Baskin Robbins to have ice cream. I had no idea that my plan would go drastically wrong.
We sat down with the food; my daughter, my husband, our 6-month-old son* and myself. I opened everything up for my daughter and we all began eating. She refused to eat. I restated that to go play, she would need to eat her dinner. She said, “NO!” My attitude, “Well suit yourself. No playing at the play land.” She started screaming. That earned her a ticket out the door. Do not pass go. Do not collect two-hundred dollars. As I scooped her up, I told my husband that he should just eat his meal, clean up, and then bring my food in a bag and I’d eat it later. I took her to the car and buckled her in her car seat. The people around me probably thought I was kidnapping her. She was kicking and screaming and fighting me with every fiber of her being. Thank heavens she was only 25 pounds!
About ten minutes later, my husband comes out to the car with the baby and we drive past Baskin Robbins. That about killed me because I love ice cream. Her tantrum that was still going strong kicked it up about 25 notches. She screamed louder and with more angst. My husband and I were certain that our sweet and precious, most wonderfully behaved child was finally hitting the terrible two’s. We were both fighting this monster and we were certain that we were going to win!
Once we arrived home we just put her in her crib as it was about 7 p.m. and she normally goes to bed around 9 p.m. anyway. She screamed herself to sleep after about an hour. The next morning everything was normal. The next day, everything was normal. The day after that, everything was normal. We figured we kicked that little demon out of our precious little snowflake. But that next night, (I think it was 3 nights after the Burger King incident) something terrible happened. She woke up in the middle of the night screaming. Only she wasn’t awake. She was still sleeping and screaming. We tried to wake her and she just wasn’t really awake. Just fussy. That’s when I started feeling really bad about the Burger King incident. I figured she was having a nightmare for the way she was treated. I mean we did put her to bed without doing our nighttime routine, without saying I love you, without her DINNER!!! This ‘nightmare’ thing went on for about two hours.
We were tired and exhausted, and the next morning came early. My son had a well visit at the pediatrician. I took the little guy in and my daughter was with me (I’m a stay-at-home mom). While in the exam room with the pediatrician, the doctor asked several questions and his most famous questions was, “Do you have any questions at all?” I explained what had happened at Burger King and what had happened the night before and asked about the terrible two’s. He listened patiently as I explained how that was not like her at all to act that way. He responded with, “Can I look in her ears?” Confused I agreed and he looked and said, “She has a double ear infection.”
So the entire time I was fighting the terrible two’s beast, her ears were hurting and she just didn’t know how to tell me.
*For the record, my son was fed pureed peas and carrots or something before we left for dinner and I had a bottle (yeah I didn’t breast feed either) ready for him.
Tammy Soong is a writer, wife, and mom from Reno, Nevada. She takes an absurd amount of pain medication, but not enough to have actually named her children "Newt" and "Elfie." She spends most days stressing out over clutter, writing stuff for this place, and working on podcasts with her gal pals, the Blogging Betties.
I know that VERY same feeling. My oldest used to get ear infections ALL the time, so I was used to intolerable behavior = infection. My youngest was a generally grumpier baby, so it didn't dawn on me that her stretch of REALLY grumpy behavior meant a week of untreated double ear infection. Ah…the mommy guilt ran deep on that one. Luckily, she was young and doesn't remember it, and I'M certainly not going to tell her! lol
My oldest was having the nasties one day (also very unusual for her) so I brought her to the doc. I was CONVINCED that she has an ear infection – or two. The doc looked her all over and in both ears and said "nope, just a bad attitude!" geesh.
Yeah, don't tell her! That's just currency.
Now THAT'S a funny doctor.
Rebecca – lol! I shouldn't laugh, but, hey – I think we have all had that experience. It makes us feel SOOO bad. Oh, God, we moms (and some dads) can teach Guilt Classes at St. Mary's School for Bad Mothers. I can't tell you how many nights I have lied awake in bed, unable to sleep, feeling like a jerk mom for something I did/did not/thought of/didn't think of doing for one (if not all) of the kids that day.
Sometimes being a mom just plain sucks!
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What a doc…….humph, bad attitude or illness somewhere else?
My recent post Worlds Worst
Kelly, I've followed your blog long enough to know that you are amazing and shouldn't have any guilt at all.
My recent post Worlds Worst
Oddly enough, that was her very first ear infection. We have been and continue to be blessed in the infection department….except for my son who was practically born with an ear infection and ended up getting an MRSA infection when he was only 9 months old. Bleh!
My recent post Worlds Worst
Hmmm. Well I would love to award you the title of World's Worst Mom, but I'm sorry. You are going to have to do more to achieve it! Unfotrunately just because we are moms, it doesn't mean we can read minds….You did the best you could!
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Wow you really need to go over and check my blog:)
Oh I've been there and while there is guilt in realizing you ignored a child in pain there is also relief in knowing he isn't the obnoxious child you feared you had. No, he's not the devil, just sick. It's always good to hear other mothers did the same thing and hear the kids survived. 😉
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Oh I've been there and while there is guilt in realizing you ignored a child in pain there is also relief in knowing he isn't the obnoxious child you feared you had. No, he's not the devil, just sick. It's always good to hear other mothers did the same thing and hear the kids survived. 😉
My recent post Speaking of Closets…
We never had to deal with ear infections until our youngest started getting them chronically and it was tough figuring out what was wrong that first time. I've had them before too in adulthood and honestly, they hurt so bad it makes you absolutely furious. A simple mistake like that won't be therapy fodder, that's reserved for the teen years. 😉
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Luckily we've not had to deal with too many ear infections (which is good because she's allergic to antibiotics…not all of them but a bunch of them). I would be so frustrated to get them as an adult mostly because adults can't just crash anywhere they want to.
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That's what I think is so great about the site, we can join together in our own 'mistakes' and see that we are not alone. There is a lot of good in that.
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I visit your blog frequently Doreen. You are a great writer.
My recent post Worlds Worst
Yep, you are right. We all try do the best we can and we share our stories to hopefully connect with others who have been or currently are in our shoes.
My recent post Worlds Worst
Hey, at least you got her to the doctor, right? My middle girl, who is a hypochondriac, was complaining about her throat and giving this totally fake sounding cough for like two weeks. I didn't take her in at first because I thought she was faking. I finally did take her in. Pneumonia, thank you very much. Four years ago and I still haven't forgiven myself, even though she got well in about 5 days.
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That sounds like a few weeks ago when my daughter was complaining a bit of not feeling good and when I mentioned staying home she asked if we could go shopping or do something special, I took her to school. A couple of hours later I was called to come and get her, she had a high fever and ended up diagnosed with strep. Gaahhh
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