While Mac Was Sleeping

– Posted in: Grosser than Gross, Holidays, Reno, Worst Mom Randomness, Writing

Although it’s true that 99.99 percent of the world doesn’t give a damn what I’m doing, it’s possible that the cherished few of you who actually keep up with me here or on Facebook are wondering what the hell happened to me. Did I die? Did I just throw in the towel? Did my computer blow up? All totally reasonable conclusions, but the answer was “c.”

Yes, my third baby stopped working, and I’ve been computer-less for an entire week. I figured I’d have some great epiphanies to share with everyone about being more present and engaged or something deep like that, but I’m happy (I guess happy) to report that I’m as equally present and engaged even with a computer screen glued to my face for a good number of hours each day (after all, if I didn’t pay some attention to the family, I wouldn’t have anything to complain about). The one scary thing I did discover was that my brain is now hardwired to think in Facebook posts.

Anyway, I have mixed feelings about my little cyber vacation. On the one hand, it was a relief to have an excuse not to write, Facebook, or tweet incessantly. On the other, I missed not being able to write anything at all. I have a sappy Thanksgiving/Black Friday blog post about regret — my grandma loved a certain sweet potato casserole, and I never made for her again before she died. And I never did go buy my mom a digital picture frame even though it was one of the few things she ever mentioned she wanted. So I could hit you all with that sad business. But instead, I’ll show you what you missed while my computer was sleeping. . .

If only they’d come by once a week.*

• This time, a whole herd of wild horses ended up not just in our neighborhood, but on our lawn. About a dozen of them. Being the responsible mom that I am, I let the kids get unreasonably close to them until my husband came out and told them to back off so they wouldn’t get kicked (the kids, not the horses). I get a little distracted when I’m taking movies.

No, Sarah Palin was not there.*

• We scarred the children for life by taking them out to watch turkeys get slaughtered. I know it’s starting to sound like I’m really outdoorsy and rural and farmy with all the horses and the turkeys and whatnot, but I’m really, really not. I’ve never killed anything, and the fact that I could still eat Thanksgiving dinner after experiencing the whole blood draining, feather plucking, gut cleaning fiasco is really quite astounding. Especially when the smell of chicken being cooked sometimes makes me gag.

*

• I got crafty. Yes, I. Got crafty. We cored out mini pumpkins and stuck candles in them to decorate the tables (we had sixteen people for Thanksgiving). And then I started acting like someone from one of those blogs that always get tagged on Pinterest, and I made little root people-ish things out of parsnips and peppercorns.

Parsnip Pilgrims*

This is where we went a little bonkers. Someone said, “It would be so funny if we dressed them like Pilgrims.” And no, we hadn’t been drinking. So my brother-in-law (who is certifiable) made tiny pilgrim hats and outfits out of paper. And then, of course, we made a sign for the Mayflower.

It was all fine and good until today when we decided to use the parsnips in some soup. My husband peeled them, and we discovered the horrible truth — the pilgrims were racists. Who knew the KKK went back that far.

*

We really had no choice but to chop them up and serve them for dinner. But we left one to warn the others. Because you should always leave one. . .

“Aw, he looks sad, Mommy.”*
Happy Late Thanksgiving everybody. Hope it was a good one.
* I shouldn’t HAVE to say it, but all photos are by me, Tammy Soong, a.k.a. PartlySunny. Don’t steal. That’s so uncool.

12 Comments… add one

Not blessed mama November 27, 2011, 7:22 am

Can't you just go all horse- whisperer mode and grab one of those ponies??
Oh, and I totally will not be stealing your pics- I never allow racist root vegetables in my house. Never.

Maxabella November 27, 2011, 9:40 am

Tammy, your parsnip pilgrims are hysterical!! What a fun thanksgiving you all has! x
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Kelly DeBIe November 27, 2011, 4:16 pm

I love the horses! And those parsnips…..hilarious. Hope you enjoyed your break from the computer. 🙂
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Meredreth Maynard November 28, 2011, 2:07 pm

Ohmygod! Thanks for a laugh out loud moment on this dreary Monday morning!! Love it!

PartlySunny November 28, 2011, 6:57 pm

They are SOOOOO cool up close. You whisper because it feels like something sacred. Wish I could grab one for you because a lot of them actually need homes.

PartlySunny November 28, 2011, 7:00 pm

Thanks Max! This is definitely the first time I've ever done anything like it. My brother-in-law is like a giant kid.

PartlySunny November 28, 2011, 7:02 pm

Actually, I did enjoy the break. And I'm kind of bummed because now I'm figuring out that I felt a lot better when I wasn't on the computer so much (plugs ears and sings, "I'm not listening, I'm not listening").

PartlySunny November 28, 2011, 7:03 pm

Yay! I'm glad I helped your Monday. I really should give more credit to my husband. He's the one who came up with the parsnip KKK. And went all out with the torches. He was on a bit of a rampage.

danniehill November 29, 2011, 2:28 am

Tammy. You certainly are the crafty one. Theme of white hoods aside it looks pretty good.
When I'm writing I make a point to stop several times a day and just walk the farm to see what has changed. It's good for the brain and eyes. And then my wife sees me and put me to plowing or laying tile for the phyical part of my day. I've begun using my militray and jungle training to ghost into the back field and return undected– works about every tenth time.

Great post.

Melissa December 3, 2011, 10:34 am

Ok. For the life of me, I can't work out WHY the turkey butchery? I meant, as a thing to go watch. I think I'd be traumatised!

Those are some pretty cute pilgrim parsnips though, I must say.
I'm sorry that holidays make you miss your Mother and Grandmother more. I feel the same.

And what was the deal with the horses? Where did they come from? Did they plot a mad escape and just suddenly stop at your place and go "Meh. That's far enough. we can totally just blend in here"????? 😀

PartlySunny December 3, 2011, 9:21 pm

Dannie, someday, I'm going to come visit you just to watch you come back from the field undetected. That must be awesome.
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PartlySunny December 3, 2011, 9:26 pm

Okay, I really should've explained. My husband works with a woman from Romania who owns a farm. Every year she and her husband raise 50 turkeys and give them away to friends. We thought about taking one, but other people were cooking turkey for our dinner, so we didn't. But my husband has delusions of grandeur and thinks we're all going to live on a farm someday, so he wanted to check out their place. He figured this was as good a day as any. I think we went with the completely incorrect assumption that somehow we'd be able to avoid the turkey slaughter. It's kind of like if you help a friend in the delivery room and they say, "Yes, please come in, but just don't look 'down there.'" You're going to end up seeing everything no matter what.

As for the horses, we have wild horses here! And we live close enough to the outskirts of town that they're like deer in a lot of places. Just come and hang out. Pretty cool.
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