Worst Moms Moment: I Swear I am Not a Kidnapper

– Posted in: Guilt, Life is Dangerous, Misunderstandings, No Good Deed, Worrying, Worst Mom Moments

When I read this Worst Moms Moment from Ginger at Spicey Mom, my heart dropped into my stomach. That’s all I’m going to give you — read for yourselves…

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I am sure that every parent, from day one, imagines the worst case scenario of losing their child. Sickness, SIDS, accidents, kidnapping, you name it, all of them rush through a new parent’s head at 1 a.m. in the morning. That paralyzing moment when you realize you love this being so much and in an instant it can be taken away. That moment leaves you shaking and wondering if you are slowly going insane from lack of sleep.

Kids chase a bubble at a parkWe can only protect them so much. I would love to keep my kids in bike helmets and knee pads, but that would only make me look overprotective and them look silly. Forget the fact that my oldest, Cookie, falls flat on her face about once a day (she’s 6) and we have photographic evidence. (but can’t include it here because of photographer and property rights etc.) We have to let them grow up. Now imagine the day your child disappears right in front of you. One moment they are running along at the Neighborhood Night out, playing and jumping in the big grassy common space with all the other kids, then they vanish around a corner. You go running and screaming after them, but for ten of the longest minutes of your life they are nowhere, poof gone.

I know, you are thinking, how scary for you Ginger. Well you see, it wasn’t me in a panic, it was me who caused the panic. Cookie always chooses the most inconvenient times to need to use the restroom. And last night was one of those. “I have to poopy” announcement was made not 30 minutes after we had just used a friend’s house to go pee. And she is the kind to wait and wait until, well, there is no more waiting. So as she is walking funny, holding her backside, we hurry along back to my friend’s house to use the restroom. I have both my kids in tow, the neighbor’s kid (who knows the security code), and suddenly I have two more neighborhood kids. One I kinda know, and I ask if she asked her mommy if she could come. She is 6 and she looks me in the eye and said, “Yes, I asked her and she said yes.” Then there is another little girl whom I did not know. She says, “I need to potty, too”. I ask, “Hunny, did you ask your mommy if you could come?” Little girl, “Yes, she said okay.” The house wasn’t far, and all the little girls use the restroom and we head back.

My mommy bells were ringing when I brought that 5th girl along. I didn’t know her or her mommy…but I thought maybe she knew the other little girl’s mom and thought it was okay. Well it wasn’t. I should have sent her back, but Cookie was in an emergency situation. As we turn the corner back to the open space I could tell all was not right. A man said, “Is that Ellen (name changed)? Her mom is in a panic.” I said, “Oh NOOOO, she followed us to the restroom.” I tell her to run ahead to let her mommy know she is okay. And you could tell the mom had had the worst 10 minute scare of her life. She was hysterically crying and hugging that little girl. I could not apologize enough. I was the mom who caused panic. I caused another mom to feel that abject horror of loosing a child. The guilt was pretty thick last night.

The only silver lining is that it did allow for a good conversation with my girls about what happened and what that little girl did that was wrong. 1) She went with a strange adult that she did not know. 2) She didn’t tell her mommy where she was going. 3) She lied about it.

I swear. I am not a kidnapper.

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Read more from Spicey Mom on World’s Worst Moms here.
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8 Comments… add one

Naturally Carol August 23, 2013, 12:20 am

My youngest child was following me up an escalator at the local shopping mall when he was four and the next minute looking around, I couldn’t find him. I looked everywhere and called his name. Panicking I sent my eldest son..fourteen then..out to the carpark to see whether he had gone out to the car. Fortunately, my eldest spotted a man with my youngest who was blithely eating an icecream that this man had bought him. A close call? An innocent encounter? We will never know!
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Tammy August 26, 2013, 10:53 am

THAT is a scary story. I mean, maybe he was just this nice guy. There ARE actually nice people in the world. But what a scary story.

Zanni Louise August 23, 2013, 3:27 am

That would be so scary! I hate thinking about losing a child. I can’t do it.
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olivia August 23, 2013, 5:03 am

O you poor thing. Don’t beat yourself up though, not your fault.
xo
We’ve all had 1 or 10 of those teary moments…horrible!

Allison Tait August 24, 2013, 5:40 pm

Oh wow – it’s so easy to see how it happens, isn’t it? Poor you – and poor other mom! Lessons here for all of us.

Lani August 25, 2013, 5:04 pm

Not your fault at all but yes, the real importance is for kids to be honest and not run off with strangers. It’s a hard one to impress upon them.

My three year old is the most confident, sociable kid who loves talking to anyone she comes across. Which can be adorable. But I wonder how to teach her that it’s only okay to talk to strangers when she’s with Mummy or Daddy…
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Tammy August 26, 2013, 10:55 am

I think that’s one of the hardest things to teach a kid. Don’t talk to strangers, but it’s okay to talk to strangers — sometimes. In cases A, B, C, and usually D. The world is a very confusing place.

Andrea September 2, 2013, 12:03 pm

This is so scary, and every mom has had a moment (or ten) like this one. And there is nothing we can do about it. We all share that stomach drop from time to time no matter how old our kids are.
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