So Saturday, we finally made it to the pumpkin patch. Little background — we usually go to a pumpkin patch in town, but this year, we thought we’d try out a newish place on the outskirts that our daughter went to on a class trip. It’s owned by a family who live on their farm, so we figured we’d support the small guys.
Our first ding on the place was when we drove out on a Sunday and it was closed. Yeah. In October. And it’s a pumpkin patch. But we got over it. Tried to respect them for what we assumed were their religious beliefs (hey, if they’re buyin’ the farm, at least they’re buyin’ the whole farm — and I’m speaking figuratively here even though they do indeed own a farm).
So we planned our whole pumpkin patching schedule around making it to this place and finally got there on Saturday, only to drive up and find. . . a Romney/Ryan sign planted in their front yard.
This was not the way I wanted to start my pumpkin patch experience. Truly, if it weren’t for the fact that we’d waited, no joke, two weeks to come to this stinkin’ place, I would’ve bailed (and I know, enough with the farm references).
So we went in and tried not to think about all the money we were handing over to these jackasses. I mean, I’m sure they weren’t jackasses. I’m sure they were perfectly nice people. Perfectly nice, completely uninformed, religiously orthodox, “totally insensitive to the discomfort they could possibly be causing their customers” people.
The thing is, I’m cool with businesses professing their political leanings. It’s a ballsy move in this climate. There’s a restaurant in Reno called Nu Yalk Pizza that’s owned by a big-time Dem who doesn’t hide his leanings, but anybody who’s lived here for more than six months and pays attention to that sort of thing already knows it.
The beef I have with the pumpkin patch is that it was so sneaky. First you drive forever. Then you drive down a dirt road. Then you park. And THEN, as you’re walking into the place, viola! Surprise!
Um, hey kids. . . looks like we need to. . . leave?
Truth be told, we probably could’ve gotten our kids to bag the whole mission (let’s just say they watch The Daily Show with regularity and are more informed than most eligible voters). Which would’ve been the right move since things just went from bad to worse.
See, the pumpkin patch had a little theme running through it based on a book called The Legend of Spookley the Square Pumpkin. It’s one of those cute books that adults love to read to kids so they can feel like they’re teaching them lessons about not judging a book (in this case, a pumpkin) by its cover and seeing the value in everyone despite their differences. Yes. Adults love to read these books. And then never take the advice themselves.
And this is where I just lost it. Because the fact is, if you are on board with the current Republican party, if you are supporting the Romney/Ryan ticket, you don’t like people who are different. You like people who are the same. You don’t like gay people, Black people, or immigrants. You don’t like Muslims, atheists, or scientists. You don’t even really like single mothers or poor people.
So the idea that these folks would base their pumpkin patch on the inclusive ideals of a little square pumpkin who saved the day and then spawned a new generation of dearly loved, diverse, and original pumpkins is despicable. Or at the very least, completely lacking self-realization.
I’m sure Spookley would tell me to just let all of this roll off my back (even though things can’t really roll off him, being square and whatnot). But the fact is, I’m just a little too annoyed, especially after dropping fifty bucks on the place.
In fact, if Spookley were here, I’d probably just toss him at their sign.