Sink or Swim

I originally wrote this for another website, but they’ve changed formats and appear to have gone entirely video.  Which I honestly don’t get because watching vlogs kind of annoys me (and with that statement, I’ve just sealed my fate and will be vlogging within the week).

Anyway, my daughter’s birthday was at the beginning of July.  Since that time — and despite this incident — I’ve actually managed to let my kids “venture out” a little more.  Which surprises me because I’m not even drinking or taking any new drugs.  Just trying a little harder to let go.

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We had my daughter’s sixth birthday party last week, and we almost killed a kid.  No, seriously.  I say it in a jokey way because I don’t really like ruminating too much on the incident due to the fact that it makes me start twitching.

The party was at a lake with big climbing rocks.  Long story short, two of the boys, ages five and seven, climbed over into an area where the weren’t supposed to be, and the little one almost drowned.  The older one actually saved him (the younger one wasn’t tall enough to stand in the water, the older one was).  So we almost became the “Tragic Drowning at Birthday Party” headline.  But instead, the younger boy experienced a frightening shock and the older boy experienced a heroic moment — memories I’m guessing they’ll both carry until the day they die.

A bunch of us who know these kids have been losing sleep over this little adventure.  Mainly it’s the whole “life changing in an instant” thing.  But there’s also that constantly nagging parenting question of how much leash do you let your kid have?  Do you follow behind your 7-year-old like a shadow and make him feel like the world is so dangerous that he can’t function in it without you at his heels?  Or do you toss him out into it and, for lack of a better metaphor, let him sink or swim?

And just to throw a little more confusion into the pot, another friend at the party actually rescued a teenager from drowning on the same day.  Obviously that kid’s mom wasn’t tailing him.  So when should the watching stop?  Because at some point, the letting go has to start.  

My friend who is the mother of the little boy who almost drowned is probably one of the most adventurous people I know.  Her son already owns a wet suit, mountain bikes down stuff I’d never touch, and skis black diamond runs.  She’s certainly not a negligent person.  In fact, she’s probably one of the most attentive, involved parents I know.  But she knows the world is a dangerous place.  Maybe she knows enough to get her kid ready to face the dangers in it.

And this is definitely where I could use some help.  Because as much as I’d like to let go and give my kids a little more leash, I’m generally just a big scaredy cat who has to work so hard everyday to be brave.  And being an almost-headline certainly doesn’t help my courage.