Verity, of The State of Being Real, is back with a cautionary tale. Maybe this is the real reason why somebody came up with the idea for pacifiers.
I can remember the day at 5 months old – look, how cute – she found her thumb! I even have a picture. . .
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| Photo by Verity |
I will tell you now, if you can do it – STOP the thumb sucking! I used to think that the grandmotherly types who would comment, and sometimes actually try to pull my child’s thumb out of her mouth, were pushy (well, actually, that is pretty damn pushy). Now I realize they were not so subtly trying to say STOP the thumb sucking, before it is too late!
Fast forward 6 years and we are talking almost $4,000 in braces. Apparently, LittleBug has managed to pull her top jaw forward, make room for 8 teeth in front, where there should be 4, and push all her bottom teeth back. She can suck her thumb without even opening her teeth.
How did we let it get this bad? It is totally embarrassing. We are good parents – limit t.v., lots of books, art, fun activities. How could we let our daughter destroy her mouth? Her twin had a pacifier. At age 2 1/2 we “gave” all her binkies to her dentist’s new baby son. It was a hard couple of weeks, but we did it. But what about the thumb? How do you take that away?
A few months ago, the dentist’s promise of a new Barbie helped her stop during the day. But then she started to get so stressed about how to stop at night that she started sucking in during the day again. We’ve put band aids on her thumb, she pulled or sucked them off. We tried putting a long sock on her arm at night – after 2 hours of crying, she asked, “Mommy, can I not do this tonight?” What am I to say? I feel her stress and know it is so hard for her.
So now, here we are. When desperate — go back in time: medieval torture devices. With her braces, the orthodontist will install a plate in the top of her mouth. She will have 3 weeks. . . if that doesn’t stop her, then he will install prongs on the plate. Prongs — spikes — in my daughter’s mouth. You have got to be kidding me.
So now, I am telling everyone I can: STOP the thumb sucking. It is not cute. It will torture you and your child later and cost you lots and lots of money (the orthodontist recommended that we switch insurance before she needs braces again at age 13 — seriously).
I may start pulling babies’ thumbs out of their mouths.
Tammy Soong is a writer, wife, and mom from Reno, Nevada. She takes an absurd amount of pain medication, but not enough to have actually named her children "Newt" and "Elfie." She spends most days stressing out over clutter, writing stuff for this place, and working on podcasts with her gal pals, the Blogging Betties.
This is INSANE! I am freaking out. My daughter sucks her finger, not her thumb. I am actually quite pissed about it. My hubs and a friend decided to just toss her binki instead of weaning her like I wanted to. The stress of not having the binki led her to pop her finger in her mouth. The germ factor alone freaks me out about this. My daughter got a wart on her lip because of the finger sucking. She is 4. I don't even know where or how to start getting her to stop!
My sister was a thumb sucker…what got her to stop during the day was a really wonderful teacher who was willing to work w/ her. She would give my sister a signal, I think pulling on her ear to show that she was sucking her thumb and my sister would remove her thumb…by the end of the year she had stopped. It is so subconscious that there is no way to just stop….so a silent signal, by someone other than Mom helped. Good luck….mine are blankie girls…and there is a whole other demon w/ that.
it's hard to know what to do. I refused to stop making my child stop sucking her thumb because I had done it til I was 14 and had no visible dental damage (the roof of my mouth is caved upward, but that is it). to me it was a source of comfort for her and who am I to take that away??
I did notice a couple of years ago that her top teeth (baby) were forming around her thumb, giving her that "thumb sucker's mouth". I told her I hated to do this, but we would need to work on getting her to stop. I felt guilty, she felt punished, and all in all it just was a horrible experience. I put some special nail polish that tasted bitter on her fingers and cried alone in my room while I listened to her cry in her own bed.
she has switched from her thumb to her pinky and her permanent teeth have since grown in straight. I refuse to fight the finger sucking any more. I will not punish her, or myself. she will need braces regardless because her mouth is too small for her teeth already – can't blame anything but genetics there.
it's a personal battle every parent will either decide to take on or deal with later. good luck with the mouth piece.
Listen, you are right — the thumb-sucking needs to stop…..but relax a little. I got the same torture device installed at….wait for it….13. (sigh) So really, at 6 you are ahead of the curve. I quit during the day in Kindergarten because I was embarrassed, but to get me to stop at night, we tried everything before finally installing "the cage" in the roof of my mouth. I will say that one thing that helped me, was that every night, I would sit in front of my tape recorder and say 100 or more times "I will not suck my thumb, I will not suck my thumb, I will not…" you get the idea. Then I would play the tape back to myself as I fell asleep. And instead of the sock, my dad got medical tape (you know the white stuff) and taped my thumb to my palm at night.
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I'm thanking the good Lord above that my daugther had a raging pacifier addiction that was quelled at the ripe old age of 4 years old. Well, about a month before she turned four.
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We were lucky in that our daughter's thumb sucking was dependent on her having her lambie in her hand as well…no lambie, no thumb (weird). So once we decided he should stay in her bedroom, it stopped during most of the day unless she needed a little fix). Gum chewing seems to be good for the stress during the day…at least I think that's why she does it a lot of the time…I hate it, but I don't have a decent alternative to offer!
My recent post Random leaves and thoughts in the air
Wow. I had no idea. Let me count my blessings. No pacifiers, no fingers, no thumbs, no bottles. My heart goes out to you. It is so difficult to break habits that are comforting to our children.
My recent post I Can See My Future
I'm so glad I don't have to worry about this! And so sorry that you do. 🙁 For some reason my kids just weren't interested in their thumbs. Thanks for posting good info though! I'm going to spread the word.
My 2.5-year-old daughter was addicted to her pacifier, but we finally convinced her to throw them in the garbage can in exchange for a special prize from the store for being a big kid. She actually dealt with the loss a lot better than I expected. Her 19-month-old brother is a finger sucker (middle and ring), and I'm already trying to wean him from them. He's to the point where he only uses them to fall asleep, and if I pull them out of his mouth after he falls asleep he leaves them out. But that entails stealth moves of sneaking back into his room at night to pull them out after he's out. It's a pain, but I had braces for 6 years and wasn't a thumb OR pacifier sucker, so I'm orthodontist-phobic.
Good luck with breaking your little one of the habit! My best friend was a "big kid" thumb sucker like your daughter, and she got one of those torture devices put in when she was seven. She tore up her fingers trying to suck around it, and as soon as it came out, she went back to her thumb. She finally quit on her own at 13. Hopefully your girl will be easier to break!
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Here is an update: braces on, plate in 2 days ago. And I couldn't be more proud of her. Makes me cry, she is such a strong little girl. The first night it took about an hour of looking at books in her bed, 1/2 a benedryl, and some back scratching – and she slept all night without waking up! Tonight it was about an hour of books, some back scratching and she was out. And just to be clear, I am not scratching her back until she falls asleep, she is doing it on her own. Today she told me that the first night she put her thumb on her cheek and fell asleep that way. So there is hope – and again, I feel so proud of her, in there, sleeping without her thumb in her mouth. I'd pick her up and hug her, but am not going to wake her up! Thanks for all the good thoughts, everyone
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A lot of kids went through a thumb (or finger) sucking phase and its just how you handle it that can really avoid a costly bill later on. What I did with my toddler was to constantly monitor him and prevent him from starting or to pull out his thumb.
dentist Edgecliff
This is an old post, but i must weigh in!!!
im 28 years old, about to be 29………… And, I AM A THUMB SUCKER. it is a lifelong addiction! Im mature enough to not do in front of people, but when I sleep, its in my mouth!!!
Thankfully, and i have no idea how, i have pretty much “perfect” teeth all of my life(dentist words, not mine)without any corrective stuff like braces. I do now have a cross bite, from a jaw injury, but had nothing to do with my thumb.
As a thumb sucker, i agree with this. Dont let your kids do it!!!
Also, my neice sucked her fingers raw… blistered, and the two she sucks look very odd compared to the rest.