Why I’m M.I.A.

I’m in Puerto Vallarta, which is why you people haven’t heard, and probably won’t hear, much from me this week. I went back and forth about saying we were out of the country because I have slightly irrational “Come rob my house” fears, but it occurred to me that there’s nothing of value in our house (at least valuable to us, really). We’re traveling with every frickin’ electronic device we own. Our dog is at our friends’ house. And. . . that pretty much does it.

Anyway, I thought I should just check in to let everyone know that I’m still here (well “here” but not “there here”). And Mexico is great. A few quick experiences and observations:

• Traveling with an 8 and 10-year old is about 10 billion times easier than it is with a 4 and 6-year-old. Or 2 and 4-year-old. Or anyone who can’t go to the bathroom on his/her own and keep from spilling a drink on an airplane.

• I have reached the zone. I verbally smacked down the timeshare saleswoman so hard that I think her children felt it.

• The laws here are like being back in 1970. No one wears a seatbelt, they ride in the backs of trucks, and you can take whatever crazy crap you want to into the pool.

• People watching is awesome. I just got some great ideas for future book characters while watching a wickedly high-strung woman and her husband complain about their traveling companions. I think she’d just gotten back from running on the beach and was headed for the gym. But her life is very balanced.

• I’ve come to the conclusion that the American middle class is really taking a beating and the Mexican middle class is growing like gang busters because it seems like at least half the families at this resort are Mexican. Which is fine except for the part where they make me feel kind of pasty and therefore unfit to be in a bathing suit.

Elfie in the pool — clearly not drowning.

• And I’ve become almost pathologically afraid of people drowning. Everyone was playing in the ocean as the sun went down yesterday, and Elfie got absolutely pummeled by a wave — which totally freaked me out, expecially since she almost got tossed into these big rocks. So then my panic level went up to about DEFCON 4.5, and I had the uncontrollable need to ask Tenzin to stop playing so far out in the waves. Between my cousin drowning and our friends almost getting swept out to sea while playing on the Oregon coast (yeah, that’s another story), I’m a little twitchy.

Anyway, I’ll attempt to check in. The WiFi here sucks, and I’m clearly busy doing stuff that’s more fun than looking at a computer screen (except when I’m being my normal self and getting annoyed and bitchy with the children).

Adios amigos!