So I have this gray hair. Yes, just one gray hair. I’m forty, have one gray hair, and look freakishly young due to the fact that I’m half-Asian (which I hear was the hottest ticket in town until we were deposed by the Lebanese). Anyway, I made the rookie maneuver of yanking this thing, and so when it came back, it grew straight up. So I yanked it again. Contrary to popular wives tales, this has not resulted in a crop of more gray hairs springing from this spot. But I finally got sick of the wiry little bastard sticking up like a little flag, declaring my oldness, so I sucked it up and let it grow — with the requirement that it be appropriately colored (I plan to dye ’til I die). Easy, right? Wrong! It somehow eluded capture during professional highlighting. Take two. Hair specifically sought out and colored. Problem solved, right? Wrong! I just looked in the mirror, and it’s completely gray again — after 2 weeks! It’s like some kind of Superhair from Krypton or Terminator follicle from the future. I’m going to have to start rubbing shoe polish on my head everyday or something.
Pretty and Witty and Gay
April 25, 2009 – Posted in: Cleaning, Getting Older, Parenting, Personal InsanityAnd while I’m grateful that my Asian-persuasion-ness appears to be aiding the aging process, let’s just say that the other day I looked down at my hand while I was wearing an extra-long sleeve shirt that sort of covered my wrist in a somewhat regal way, and I wasn’t thinking Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty. No. I thought, “Wow, my hand looks like the stepmother’s in Cinderella. Or the stepmother’s in Snow White after she turns into the old hag.” So all those years of doing dishes and changing diapers have really paid off. I’m actually on my way to Disney villain status. Or perhaps just being a stepmother. Although how that would work, I’m just not sure. . . Polygamy? Harems? The way things are going, we’ll probably allow that in the U.S. before gay marriage anyway. And speaking of gay marriage, I stayed at a B & B this weekend — a beautiful 19th century mansion restored by, big surprise, a well-traveled gay couple. The country’s neighborhood and downtown revitalization plan should just be taxbreaks for gay men to encourage them to move into areas of suburban and urban blight. It’s really the only thing that works.
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