Show Me the Money

– Posted in: Conservatives are Funny, Personal Insanity, Shopping Hell, Worst Mom Rants, Writing

My “long-time readers” may have noticed that I have some new additions to the blog. The most recent is the Xerox widget — they’ve set up a website where you can pick out a postcard, personalize it, and they’ll mail it to a soldier. Pretty cool. Only takes about 30 seconds. More effective, in my opinion, than a faded, magnetic, yellow ribbon sticker on the back of your car that purports to “Support Our Troops.” I mean, seriously. Can’t you at least go through the trouble of grabbing a fresh sticker at Walmart when your current one starts to peel?

The other additions are the ads. Yes, I’m raking it in. Seventeen whole cents. Actually, that’s not true. I apparently made a buck twenty-five the first day when one of you clicked on something and then went on to make a purchase somewhere (probably porn — at least that’s what I’m assuming). I honestly don’t know how this stuff works. It took me three months to realize I hadn’t even applied for the little advertising program correctly — I just assumed I wasn’t getting enough hits to be rewarded anything more than PSA’s about greenhouse gas.
So here’s the other problem associated with not knowing what you’re doing on your computer. You go and check your blog one day, only to find that there’s a crazy, right-wing ad against healthcare reform plastered all over it. So you freak out, search desperately for some sort of settings page, and quickly remove everything containing politics, religion, and sex (because aren’t the spam emails we get about Viagra enough?). Then you come back to your blog the next day to find a huge picture of Sarah Palin. Why? Because she’s going to be on Good Morning America, which doesn’t fall under the “politics” setting. So then you just give up and hope your friends are only reading the blog when the coupons for Oxyclean are on.

And speaking of Sarah Palin and Oxyclean, it seems the budding author will be signing her “book” at my Costco. My Costco. My own distaste for this aside (I’ll probably never be able to eat in there again), I’m completely perplexed as to why she’d even choose Costco. I mean, why would she want to set foot inside the doors of a good company that pays its employees well and gives them benefits? Why not be true to her values and sign her books at Walmart? Apparently she’s counting on the agave-eating, Starbucks-drinking, English-cucumber-4-pack-buying Costco shoppers to out-buy the faded-yellow-magnet crowd. Or maybe she’s just gone rogue.

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5 Comments… add one

Verity November 20, 2009, 10:53 am

I have also been incensed that Palin will be at MY Costco – thank god we will be out of town so I won't have to deal with any of it. The whole thing stinks too – to get a wrist band to get in to see her, you have to buy a copy of her book AT Costco. This all smells very corporate-greedy…..

Verity November 20, 2009, 10:55 am

Ok – one more thing….as much as I want to help you make money, if I click on the add for the “Free Tattoo LIbrary,” I can't guarantee I will purchase anything!

briosogirl November 22, 2009, 10:09 am

If you want to be even more hands on for the troops (and yes, you can be morally opposed to the war and still support the troops that are there), please check out anysoldier.com. Click on “where to send”, pick a unit, and put together a care package for them. I recommend using a flat rate box from the post office to save on postage.

Sunny November 22, 2009, 4:54 pm

Oh sure. One up me by sending them stuff they actually need and then being frugal about it.

briosogirl November 23, 2009, 9:58 am

It's not a contest, but I'm winning! ha ha ha. No, what made me think of you guys doing it, is that alot of soldiers ask for pictures from kids (since they have almost no contact with kids and they miss it). I could have Vivu do some pictures, but I don't think goth designs would be very cheerful.

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