This is the second submission from CC. In her first, she reminisced about the “old days” when her daughter was just a toddler and (unfortunately) parroted everything that came out of CC’s mouth — which sort of made her look like a crappy mother. In this one, she’s dealing with a much older child. And now she just basically feels like a crappy mother.
My eldest daughter started college this year, a plane ride from home. Everyone has been very kind about my “almost empty nest.”
Recently, I looked at the calendar: she is due home for the summer in less than 8 weeks.* Am I dancing for joy? Planning her favorite food? No, I am trying to help (nag, push) her into being occupied. . . job, school, volunteering. . . anything.
While we were planning to drive to get our DD at the end of May, and in between the emails of job suggestions, it hit: I have been worried. I have been frustrated.
But I have not been depressed about her being gone.
I feel so guilty.
It’s been quiet, much less drama and angst and procrastination and. . . well, you get the idea.
I have more time for hubby. I have more time for my younger daughter, who is cooperative. . . finishing chores and homework. . . and likes being around both parents.
Starting to sound like I prefer my younger one.
I feel so guilty.
All through high school, DD and hubby used to argue. . . then tattled to me. The are too much alike and will fight to the death to deny it.
Hubby has been grumping about the money for an away college. . . long rant about how he started at a J.C. and worked his way through (and walked uphill in the snow, both ways).
Honestly, it’s been worth it.
I feel so guilty.
*When CC sent this to us, she was 8 weeks out. Now the day is upon her.
Tammy Soong is a writer, wife, and mom from Reno, Nevada. She takes an absurd amount of pain medication, but not enough to have actually named her children "Newt" and "Elfie." She spends most days stressing out over clutter, writing stuff for this place, and working on podcasts with her gal pals, the Blogging Betties.
I 'get-it' we're on a countdown for college… no empty syndrome planned. Good luck this summer!
http://imamomgetmeoutofhere.blogspot.com
FWIW, CC, your daughter will hate living at home again after all the freedom of college, and will let you know about it and will express NO guilt whatsoever about her feelings of discontent. And it's part of The Plan for how to successfully separate from your child so that she can live a full, adult life. So… don't worry; it's only 8 weeks.
OMG I feel your pain. Although mine all still live here, when summer hits it drives me insane because they all just sleep all day and then complain that there is nothing to do. I am dreading when my 4 year old is home all day all week, I feel I will be insane before the first month is out. Good Luck!
Good luck with this summer, you WILL get through it!
When my son was a toddler, I dreaded the idea that he could go away to college. Now that he's a high school freshman, I kind of look forward to it 🙂 I don't know if that makes me a bad mom or just a tired one!
Thank you for being honest about this. My college age daughter is getting ready to move back in with us and I'm dreading it. And feeling guilty for dreading it.