The Good, The Bad, and The Fro-Yo

The kids had their last day of school today — definitely a mixed blessing. The upside: we’re finally out of a place that served us well the majority of the time but ultimately ended up driving us crazy. Today I was forced to sit through a 20 minute conversation on the female archetype and it’s influence on modern dress as it relates to current teachers and teaching methods. I haven’t heard that kind of over-inflated, academic pontificating since I sat on a university quad and ate ground turkey burritos.

The downside: the kids were already driving me crazy before they were even around 24/7. Twice in the last 2 days, I actually handed them off to Tenzin in a semi-catatonic stupor and went to hide in our room. You see, the kids and I seem to have a weird relationship wherein we share a finite amount of misery. If I’m happy, then they’re miserable. And until I’m miserable, they won’t be happy. This is not to say that someone’s always miserable at any given time. But when that ball’s being tossed around, generally I’m the one who ends up catching it.

The other downside: proof that the beasties are growing up. In the last month, I’ve heard, “Mom, you’re so smart,” and “Mommy, I want to be with you all the time. . . I can’t stop hugging you.” I’m guessing I won’t be showered with this sort of thing in the years to come. From what I hear, in just a few short years, I’ll be making everyone’s skin crawl with my mere presence and shocking stupidity (I currently feel shockingly stupid on a routine basis, but at least I’m dealing with little people who think I know everything — mainly due to Google). With this in mind, why can’t I covet every moment of their innocent youth, holding it in my hands like a precious jewel? Good lord, because I’m not freaking Kathy Lee Gifford — who, incidentally, I saw this morning on the Today Show (she was apparently hired because someone had brain damage or a hit out on them). If you’re ever feeling stupid, just know that she was comparing the battle for the country’s best Fro-Yo to the war in North Korea.

When I picked them up today, I had delusions of saying heartfelt goodbyes to their teachers and a taking few lovely pictures. Actual events didn’t exactly follow the plan. Elfie had a splinter in her foot, which caused her to cry so hard that she got a nose bleed. They were both filthy from playing in the mud and spilling their lunches all over themselves. And then Newt went straight to the car and never said goodbye to anyone. We had to hurry out of there anyway because we were already really late to meet up with friends. For Fro-Yo.