Category Archives: Mouths of Babes

My Name’s Tammy and I’m a Cake Froster-holic

DIY Thomas Train snowy winter cake with toy trains

So just to solidly make the case that I’m absolutely off my rocker, I’m sharing the following. Actually, let me back up. Over the last couple of days, I posted some pictures of the cupcakes I helped make for a school fundraiser, and people have made some lovely comments about my decorating abilities. The thing…

Kids Know Awards for Everyone are Stupid. Because They’re not Stupid.

kids_thumbs_up

The kids turned in their science fair projects last week. Neither of them made it to “the big show,” but that wasn’t a huge surprise. They’ve historically driven me nuts by procrastinating for two months, deciding last minute that they want to do a “great job,” and then getting angry because they didn’t get chosen. I…

Worst Mom Moment: Girl Scout Cookie Hell

girl-scouts

My daughter isn’t in Girl Scouts, and I’m not gonna lie — it’s because I’m scared. Over the years, I’ve heard tale of cookie selling hell, and I feel like my adrenal glands are already shot as is. The last thing I need is people being pissed at me for being a bad Cookie Mom…

Why the Onion Should’ve Asked My Kid About the C-Word Before Getting on Twitter

quvenzhane-wallis

So when everybody started freaking out over the Onion calling nine-year-old Oscar nominee Quvenzhané Wallis the c-word, my thought process went something like this: Wow, stay classy. Maybe an intern was tweeting. What idiot would let an intern tweet during the Oscars? Somebody’s getting the axe. They’ll probably end up on that Katie Couric show. Or…

Into the Great Outdoors. But Only Because I Had To…

Digging in the icy river

So I am spent. Spent. These are the days when my body likes to remind me that “No, you can’t go skiing on Saturday, hiking on Sunday, and then expect to live to tell about it. Ha ha!” Or, I should say, “Bwwahaha!” I have a feeling my body has a tendency towards sick and…

He’s Leaving Home…And Mom’s Going Nuts

I'm pretty sure this is how a turtle would feel if it stood up.

We’re a family of three, not four this week (or four, not five, if you count the dog). Newt, our 10-year-old, is away for two nights with his classmates at a wilderness camp. At Lake Tahoe. In the snow. Fortunately he’s not snow camping (because that’s only for crazy people). They’re in cabins with heat…

Happily Saying Goodbye to 2012 — and Still Being Happy

Newt and Elfie Getting their Santa On

So here’s the current status: I’m officially a Christmas casualty. After, I’m assuming, intense gift-wrapping sessions and several nights of marathon dishwashing, I’ve done something really bad to my back. I can’t lift my arm over my head, so I haven’t taken a shower in four days. I’ll just let everyone use their own imaginations…

How to Teach Kids about Sex: Go See Les Mis and Leave the Kids with Dad

les-miserables-film-hathaway

I went and saw Les Miserables with a girlfriend the other night. It was an amazing movie, but for some reason, I still feel like I could just nitpick it to pieces. I’m starting to think this could be my calling — professional life nitpicker. Too bad I can’t get someone to pay me for that……

Guilt 101, Brought to You by the 8-year-old

Elfie's Guilty-the-Mommy Note

So last night, my husband, Tenzin, and I went out to dinner. Grown-up dinner with friends. And a play. We basically have no social life, so this was a big deal for us. For better or worse (most likely worse — we’ll see in a few years when I get a call from their therapists),…

Worst Mom Moments: An Heir-Raising Tale

money

So once again, the fabulous Kelly DeBie of DeBie Hive swoops in with a story from her always unbelievable life. Unbelievable only because truth is stranger than fiction. And when you have four kids and a husband, that’s a lot of material to work with. ****** A few months ago, my husband got a new…