So yesterday, we bought a tent trailer. This came after weeks of being Craig’s List newbies and doing a piss-poor job of getting in touch with people, going out to see trailers that sucked, and not being able to get enough money on a Sunday to actually buy something. Honestly, I think one of the reasons we finally pulled the trigger was because we just couldn’t take it anymore.
I’ve had mixed feelings about the trailer. Part of me would rather just spend the summer on a beach somewhere (but then, what sane person wouldn’t). Unfortunately, that’s not possible, so getting the trailer seemed like a reasonable choice. We want to do more camping, and neither my husband, Tenzin, nor I seem to be able to tolerate sleeping on the ground.
Anyway, we bought it yesterday, right before Tenzin had to work, and so the kids, Jasper (the dog), and I ended up having to hook it up and pull it home. This was problematic for two reasons: 1) I’ve never pulled anything in my entire life, and 2) the plug to hook up the lights on the trailer was incompatible, which meant no brake lights or blinkers.
So we white-knuckled it down to U-Haul to get a new connector cable, only to discover that the Honda people hadn’t hooked up our hitch correctly, so there was no juice flowing from the connection in the first place. And because it was Sunday, of course the Honda people weren’t around…
So we white-knuckled it home, opting to take surface streets instead of the freeway. We figured even though there were a ton more stops, at least the other cars wouldn’t be going 70 when they ran into us.
Incidentally, every once in a while, I get a glimpse into how much the kids “handle” me. Apparently Jasper jumped out of the car (because I left the door open) at U-Haul, and Elfie had to chase him all over the parking lot. But what I didn’t find out until Tenzin got home was that Newt opted to stay with the car because “I knew that if Mom came back to the car and found all of us gone, she would’ve been all, ‘Oh my god! Where is everybody!’ (puts up hands in mock hysteria). So I figured one of us should stay where she could find us.”
They also made jokes the entire way home about how “nothing could possibly go wrong now…” (the characters say this all the time in the Captain Underpants books). And then they broke into “Could be worse. Could be raining,” from Young Frankenstein. I’ve taught them well.
Anyway, we made it home alive. And then the stupid part of my brain kicked in. We decided to open the thing up so we could clean it. This would’ve been fine if:
- I knew how to unhook a trailer and didn’t end up lifting the back end of the car up because I thought the little ball had been released and was just being difficult.
- Tent trailers were indeed “easy” to set up the way everyone says. Yeah. Tell that to the weak-ass lady and two kids while she’s trying to yank the beds out.
- Tent trailers were indeed “simple.” And didn’t have a bunch of funky little parts that have to be in just the right place and make you feel like you’re doing a roadblock on the Amazing Race.
- I knew anything about stabilizers. At least now we all know how Lucille Ball felt in The Long, Long Trailer.
Once we’d figured out how to keep it from rolling down the street and killing us, we cleaned that thing from top to bottom. I’m not gonna lie. I wanted to hire someone to do it. But this kind of goes with the whole philosophy of buying an old (1998) trailer that’s not perfect. Every once in a while, we attempt to do things that will hopefully keep the kids from turning into complete ass hats. And cleaning the trailer ourselves seemed like that should be one of them. So…
Anyway, talk to me tomorrow and ask me if it would’ve been worth the 200 bucks and the possibly spoiled brat children. I’m too tired and sore to even discuss it today.