I was in Target today, just cruising because I’d hit one of those dead-time points in the day when you can’t go home but it’s too early to pick up the kids, and I found myself in the toy section (for reasons I myself still can’t understand). Anyway, I was checking out the Monster High dolls, wondering if I should break down and get one for Elfie. She’s been mildly interested in Monster High, and as much as I don’t like them, I have a good friend who got them for her kids, and I figure if she caved, I might as well go down with company…
But I really do hate Monster High. Elfie watched one of the cartoons, and the take-home message was, “Do whatever you can to impress the most popular girl in school (even though she’s a raging asshole who actually deserves to be flipped off whenever you see her in the hall), support the efforts of your friends in tripping all over themselves in order to kiss the butt of the school’s raging asshole, and — oh yeah — BE YOURSELF!” What a crock.
Anyway, I was standing there, looking at these dolls, and I started getting so ticked off. Last year, I was in the middle of a plan (that failed miserably) to start a company to produce dolls that looked like “normal” people. And wore clothes that didn’t make them look like hookers. And did activities that didn’t revolve around shopping. It was going to be the Barbie antidote.
But today, I actually found myself retreating — yes, retreating — to the Barbie section. Who knew that with Monster High, Mattel would be able to make a doll that was skinnier than Barbie? With edgier, smaller clothes? And higher heels?
And yes, I know about Bratz (don’t even get me started on Bratz) but there’s just something more insidious about Monster High. It’s like they’re “cartoonish” and “cute” so they can’t possibly be skanky. Or obnoxious. Or anorexic. They’re not human so it’s okay…
So today in Target, I felt like I’d entered some alternate universe. Barbie, with her brightly colored mini-skirts, pool party, and cute little sisters, looked positively Mother Teresa-esque. Her eyes weren’t permanently parked in a Bratz, half-closed, “What the fuck do you want” stare. And her mouth didn’t look like it was poised to make a duck face and post it on Instagram.
I sure hope she was drunk. Except that it looks like she might be in the driver’s seat.
The thing is, we keep moving the bar and telling ourselves it’s no big deal. I recently saw a picture of JonBenét Ramsey. I can still recall the visceral reaction I had in 1996 to seeing this cute little girl made up to look like a woman. The whole country was appalled at what her parents had done to her. But when I saw that picture the other day, I felt even more freaked out because she looked so. . . normal. She looked like a Gap ad. Or a kid at a party. In fact, compared to what they do to girls nowadays, she looked downright tame.
That’s what popped into my head as I was finding refuge with the bleached-blond, fake-boobed, tight-clothed Barbies (and yes, I know Barbie dolls, by definition, have fake boobs, but we all know that if they were real humans, they’d have fake boobs). And I wondered, what else would I let get by me? What else would we all let slip?
What will our JonBenét look like in 2033? And what the hell will she be playing with?
From The Fashion Police
Tammy Soong is a writer, wife, and mom from Reno, Nevada. She takes an absurd amount of pain medication, but not enough to have actually named her children "Newt" and "Elfie." She spends most days stressing out over clutter, writing stuff for this place, and working on podcasts with her gal pals, the Blogging Betties.
I’m with you.. I remember fighting the Bratz dolls when M was 5. Now the worse thing about them is that they just won’t die (remember they were discontinued??) and their “passion for fashion” isn’t what I’d recommend but hey.. I’m grateful we’re out of the toy stage (almost.. one more to finally stop) but wonder what the grands will play with when it comes time. I actually wonder if we’ll have toys at all or it will be all online..
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Oh dear lord. If the children of tomorrow only live in a virtual world and don’t even have toys to touch, I’m moving out to some farm.
We have Monster High AND Bratzilla’s.
Sigh.
Maybe monster trucks and dressing my girls in plaid would have worked out better.
😉
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Oh, I’m sure you’d have a whole different host of problems.;)
And to think, I just tried to make sure we had both brown haired and blonde haired Barbies! Littlest pet shop critters were our faves, but now even they look super creepy! I think the Fisher-Price family dollhouse is still respectable (please don’t tell me if you’ve seen something different!)
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The toys are constantly evolving to look more and more disturbing. Skinnier, trashier, and with bigger eyes. It’s annoying.
We know society has gone over the edge when we not only buy Monster High dolls (so glad we don’t get full cable), but we also put Honey Boo Boo and her twisted family in the spotlight.
I’ll hold a seat for you in the hand basket. ;D
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Do not get me started on Honey Boo Boo…
There is something very, very wrong with our society when toys for kids look like prostitutes, and stores sell bikinis for very young children. Seriously? Childhood is so short, why not let them look like children? And play with dolls that look like, well, children?
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You’re preachin’ to the choir, girl.
I used to play with Bratz when they first came out, and I loved them. But, as I was reading your blog post, I realized that during that time of my life I was insanely obsessed with shopping, and dressing “cool” and getting boys’ attention. My older cousin used to call Bratz dolls “Suzie Big Head” because their heads were so freakishly disproportionate.
I was going to give all of my old Bratz dolls to my younger cousin who is 9, but I don’t think I will just because I don’t want her to fall into the trap of wanting to shop or dress “cool”, like I did.
I think you’re completely right about dolls being too skanky looking! I don’t think Elfie needs that influence! I know, from first-hand experience, that the dolls young girls play with have a huge influence on their lives.
That’s really interesting to hear from someone who’s just been “a kid.” I read all the time that it’s “no big deal,” so to hear you say that you think it affected your perspective makes me think I’m not completely bonkers.
I do have to say, however, that it didn’t seem to affect you TOO adversely because you turned out awesome.
Okay, I’m on the other end of the spectrum… I actually like the Monster High dolls. Hate Bratz, but think the Monster High dolls (after reading the books that started the whole craze) are pretty interesting, and actually unique. My daughter has most of them and I’d rather play with them with her, than with Barbie. I agree that some of their clothes are pretty short, and in no way resemble what I’d allow my child to wear when they are in high school, but my daughter realizes that and also understands that they are DOLLS, they don’t resemble real-life people [they ARE monsters, after all], and that some of the stuff they do just isn’t based on real life at all. They are toys to have fun with, in my house anyway, and I’d prefer she play with them, using her imagination, than the Kindle her dad bought her for Christmas. But, again, this is just my opinion ;0)
Opinion away! I love opinions. And I’m with you on the imagination vs. Kindle thing. Every since we got the iPad, I’m sort of kicking myself because there’s now a bit of a battle going on about what the kids do. Before, it wasn’t an issue. They just played. Now I’m like, “Get off the screen!”
And I have to hand it to the Monster High people for creativity. I mean, even I like looking at all the crazy characters they come up with. They’re entertaining.
The sexy toy trend is disturbing. My youngest son (5) loves My Little Pony, but boy oh boy-those aren’t what ponies looked like in my day! Sleeker, long-limbed, big slanted eyes. Seriously? Even ponies??? Geez.
Right? There’s a whole study on that. How they’ve messed with the Ponies and Strawberry Shortcake to make them less real and childish and more sexual and anime. When the Care Bears start getting skinny, we’ll know we’ve lost all hope.