So the kids had their end-of-school celebration today, which included graduation ceremonies for the kindergarten and 8th grade. I’ve never been big on the whole kindergarten graduation (for reasons you’ll see below), but the other day, I saw something that really pushed me over the edge:
Seriously? What’s next — “You got out of bed this morning”? Or “You remembered to breath”? And we wonder why we’re behind Latvia in math. . .
Anyway, the following post is one I wrote for another website that no longer exists. Apparently they thought writing was boring so they deleted anything that contained letters and replaced it with extremely witty people talking into their web cameras (incidentally, when I lose my mind and start vlogging someday, you can all feel free to bring up this moment and throw it in my face). Anyway, I wrote this two years ago when Elfie was about to graduate from kindergarten. Oh how the time flies. . .
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I’ve never been one of those people who’s big on holidays, celebrations, or major milestones. My husband’s a doctor, so we’ve spent quite a few years celebrating things like our anniversary on days other than the actual event. We don’t get each other presents. And if you asked me when my kids walked, talked, or ate their first solid food, I’d have to go and get out their baby books (or at least the Post-its I’ve written a bunch of stuff on and stuck in a pile on their baby books). But lately, I’m starting to get a little more of the “celebration” bug. Maybe it’s because I’m getting older. Maybe it’s because my mom died last year, and she made every holiday a grand event. Maybe it’s because I finally understand that there’s so much bad stuff in the world that you have to grab onto the good stuff with both hands whenever you can.
Which is why you’d think I’d be more excited about my daughter’s graduation next week. It’ll be quite a day. My little girl, wearing her cap, walking up on stage to receive her diploma for completing. . . kindergarten?
I know that kindergarten graduations have become standard, but I’m wondering how that happened. My husband didn’t have one (he’s almost 42). I didn’t have one (I’m 41). But there is a photo of my brother (who’s 40) graduating from preschool in a blue paper gown and black cap. So what happened? Was this the brainchild of some overly ambitious mother who thought it would be “absolutely adorable” to see the littlest children dressed up like the big kids (“We could get them hats, with tassels, and they could all get diplomas, and we could play ‘Pomp and Circumstance’. . .”)? And then did everybody have to start doing it so that they didn’t feel like their kids were missing out?
For some reason, kindergarten graduation feels a lot like those baseball games where you don’t keep score and all the kids get a trophy at the end. It’s nice. But did anyone really do anything to deserve any of it? I’m a huge advocate of praising kids when they do things that are praise-worthy. But making it to first grade? I’m hoping to set the bar a little higher.
A little history — my son and daughter left their last school when Newt finished kindergarten and Elfie finished pre-K. At the end of the year, they had a lovely little ceremony where each child who was leaving got wrapped in a yellow scarf by his teachers — who read a poem they’d written just for him — and then he “walked under the willow arch” to signify his departure (yeah, yeah, we went to a total hippie school). Oddly enough, this made some amount of sense to me. We’d been at the school for two years, had made friends who’d become almost like family, and were not coming back the next year.
However, in the spirit of “celebrating whenever I can,” I’m doing whatever possible to get psyched up for the graduation event. Truth be told, it’s been a rough year for all of us, and Elfie has made major leaps. She’s definitely gone from being a little kid who reluctantly went to school and got weepy when I dropped her off to being a big kid who loves school and confidently strides in every day. That’s significant growth. Growth that, in my mind, warrants a trip to Jamba Juice or maybe dinner at her favorite sushi place (I know, my daughter’s a freak). So what the hell, diploma it is!
But I’m pretty sure she’ll be expecting some sort of parade when she finishes high school.
Tammy Soong is a writer, wife, and mom from Reno, Nevada. She takes an absurd amount of pain medication, but not enough to have actually named her children "Newt" and "Elfie." She spends most days stressing out over clutter, writing stuff for this place, and working on podcasts with her gal pals, the Blogging Betties.
This is why I love you. I was wondering the same thing. Another Mom friend who also blogs asked, "preschool graduation sweet or silly?" I say both. It is sweet but really really silly. I can't help but roll my eyes when I see pictures or hear of it. My daughter's preschool just had a pot luck lunch, where each child was given a special folder of pictures and work and the teacher said something sweet to all of us. Really some kids are going back for a third year, and the class only had 13 kids, so a graduation seems ridiculous. We never had kinder graduation either and I'm 35.
Aw, I loves ya too. I'm actually a huge sucker for pictures and doing something like saying special things about each kid. It makes them feel like they've been "seen." But accomplished something? I don't think so. If anything, we should throw a party for the teachers for getting through the year with them.
Celebrating every milestone with a graduation ceremony is starting to get on my nerves, too. It's not like we're still an agrarian society where our kids might drop out (note the language – you dropped out, you didn't graduate) in eighth grade. At least it would then make sense to have a graduation ceremony at that point. In this era, kids need to have at least a high school diploma if not a college diploma. That's where the celebrations should come in. Still, my son had a littel graduation ceremony in his kindergarten room. He got a cute little cap and a certificate, I think. I just went along with it. They just had a party for all the fifth graders who are moving on. Seemed like fun. They got a cake and that was it. Works for me. In a way, I can understand celebrating the milestones. What I don't get is handing out diplomas or crossing the stage. The way I see it the blow out celebrations (and gifts) should be saved for when the kids truly accomplish something like say graduating from high school or college.
My son graduated from kindergarten to stay not only in the same school, but with the same teacher. We're redistricted and the elementary school four miles away where my daughter went to kindergarten did not do graduations…phew! The schools try to do some neat things for the kids their last year at each school. For folks like me, that is just one more box of kleenex I need.
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It is so true. Last year we had a preschool graduation, and can you believe it? I cried! I know, but it was kind of a major transition, leaving the preschool community and entering the next phase of life. But for kindergarten, they are staying at the same school with the same schedule, so a graduation just seems silly. How about a party for the parents where we all get drunk and celebrate the fact that we made it through another year with our kids 😉
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I'm all for the celebrating milestones, but like you said, it seems like it should be more of a moving on thing than an accomplishment thing. I mean, "you finished 5th grade" isn't exactly something to be proud of in the sense that "You sure as hell better have finished 5th grade. What else would you be doing?"
Yeah, don't get me wrong. It's not like I don't cry at all of this crap.
Of course you cried. We always cry. It's impossible not to. But then I get weepy during movie trailers.